Rose's Cantina

For those of you who have already hit The Globe and Mail paywall -- and it's only six days into the month -- I am happy to provide you with an analysis of the print edition this weekend First, Julian Fantino is an insensitive, uninformed twat. The International Cooperation Minister apparently stunned the Haiti higher-ups during an interview with La Presse  after he announced he was going to freeze new aid projects earmarked for the embattled little nation. It was also news to his own department apparently. The former top cop says he is tired of the "slow progress" being made in Haiti. How long does it take to rebuild a country shattered by a major Earthquake? It's been two years! "Are we going to take care of their problems forever?" asked Mr. Sensitivity. On to the next item. The hunger strike by Theresa Spence. In its lead editorial, The Globe and Mail suggests that the Chief, who has been striking for weeks to get a face-to-face with Emperor H...

"Anastasia," he drools. "Your helicopter is ready." Those words make me horny. I bite my bottom lip, an action I repeat for dramatic effect. I know it drives my host crazy and gives him a party in his pants. I climb into the seat beside his hirsute-chested loveliness and blush over and over again as he expertly fits my seatbelt and hear muffs. "We'll get to my lair soon, but first we have to make a short stop," he explains darkly, running his fingers through his tussled hair. I had to suppress a squeal. Within minutes we were setting down on a rural highway, the scene of a horrific accident. A paramedic opens the cabin door and nearly surprises me out of my jeans. Several others spring out the door. "What's going on?" I quiz the man who will soon be my first lover. "Oh, I own ORNGE helicopters -- that's how I made my billions cheating the government -- and we need to make this pitstop to pick up a couple of patients....