Rose's Cantina

Dear Harley: I'll admit to a setback last evening. It was our first chewable meal since last Monday and we couldn't resist. I mean, come on, scallops? The addition of wine was truly necessary, that's all I'm saying. Also skipped my workout yesterday. Not my fault that a lady hit a transformer and knocked out the power to the gymnasty. How fast was she going in the Trainyards parking lot and how distracted was she to hit a friggin' transformer? I still lost a pound yesterday, bringing me to 210. That's five pounds lost in a week. Yippee caya, mo fo. Not as good as Scott who has so far lost 13 pounds and is the envy of his car dealership. Back on track this morning. Smoothie for brekkies. Squash soup for lunch. Bison for dinner. Question: If a buffalo is so big, how come the steaks are so small? Since the gymnasty still appears to be closed, we'll be visiting the Ottawa Farmer's Market today to see if they got game. Not game as in basketball,...

My dearest Harley: Scott and I just finished our grocery shop for your Swimsuit Ready in 20 Days diet, as promoted on The Revolution .  We managed to deftly avoid the bread and meat aisles and realized what a bargoon this diet really is. Not counting the toilet paper and paper towels, our whole week's groceries came to less than a hundred bucks and that includes frozen fruit, Greek yogurt and four kinds of tofu. It doesn't count the cheesecake I will be gorging on tonight, nor did we five factor in the margaritas, wine and cheesecake we will be enjoying as part of what I like to think of as Our Last Supper tonight. I saw a movie last night about death row and last meals. That's the sort of mentality I'm trying to avoid as I set off on my journey to see my belly button again. But I can't help thinking about what I'd like for my last meal. Hot dogs and poutine, I'm guessing. Definitely not tofu and chia seeds. That mentality -- and the booze -- a...