Rose's Cantina

I rarely go to restaurants. That's because I hate the way people eat. I detest the woman who orders a salad the size of a farming plot who then starts diving bombing her meal with her fork from two feet above the table. Up and down, up and down. It's like watching a performance of Cirque de Soleil. Or the dowager who gets all gussied up for the high priced bistro, who then proceeds to eat her meal like an anteater. The mouth opens, the tongue slithers out, the left hand shoves the food in while the right hand is poised to catch any rogue morsel. It's both fascinating and disgusting. Like watching Miley Cyrus tongue a wrecking ball. And isn't it fun to watch the couples who go out for dinner and don't say a blessed word to each other. All they can focus on is what is on the plates in front of them. They slather the butter on bread like stone masons building a museum, then shove the bread into their gobs. The salad comes, and there's the...

Chef and bon vivant Anthony Bourdain admits he's a French Canadian sympathizer. He does have a French name after all. But his recent piece on CNN about "Canada" was a little over the top even for him. First, he chose to present to the CNN audience a picture of Canada that had nothing to do with our home and native land. Instead, it focused solely on the Quebec culture -- which would have been alright if it had been called Parts Unknown: Quebec. The piece was entertaining fodder, following a group of Quebecois gourmands as they chowed their way through a series of artery clogging, heart stopping meals while lubricating themselves with expensive wines. These blobs could give Epic mealtime a run for its money. They frolicked through the countryside eating beaver stewing in its own plasma sauce. Then it was off to a hipster place to savor more organ meat, to a fishing hut and onto a Via Rail One club car. Bordain included every cliche in the book. ...