Rose's Cantina

I'm a cranky little old lady, sitting here in my chair, buffeted by pugs, anticipating another few days of having a crazy battle with the old gallbladder. Easter, what can I say? Writhing in pain, waiting the results of my ultrasound which was performed by an evil-scientist looking Russian named Yuri (sorry for the racial profiling, but he could have played the villain in the upcoming 24 series), I have taken to the Lazy Boy and I'm dividing my time channel surfing and playing Candy Crush Saga. Yesterday, I was treated to a seminar on the virtues of Bell Fibe television, as part of an infomercial on the CTV Ottawa newscast. I have Bell Fibe. I loathe it, but I'm stuck with it. So why not learn its many features? I was excited to discover that I can use my Smartphone as a remote in case Sophie the Pug runs off with the channel changer in her mouth. How cool is that? So after the infomercial, er, newscast, I got the Bell Fibe app from the Playstore for my...

  I have been a Rogers cable/internet/homephone/wireless customer for more than two decades. Until a couple of years ago, I was relatively happy with Rogers, the company. I didn't bother Rogers. Rogers didn't bother me. But this week, I am officially severing all ties with Rogers. I've gone back and forth on this. I've tried switching some services and keeping others. But it's finally over. The issues are many. The company's pre-billing process is outrageous. Their added charges are something akin to a back door virus that eats up your wallet. And trying to get rid of Rogers borders on mission impossible. Rogers is still hounding my daughter for money years after she severed ties with the company. I've heard similar stories from other law-abiding communications loving Canadians. Enough is enough. Our last and final beef is with cellphone charges. The kids had a couple of smart phones and tried to cancel and they were told it would cost them ...

Every other Sunday, my daughter and her fiancee come over for dinner and a movie. The fact that these youngins want to spend time with the old farts fills my heart with warmth and great joy. We try to make these encounters special. Scott slaves over a hot stove or barbecue and presents mounds of tasty morsels while the rest of us try to pick a movie Marissa and Jeff haven't seen. Afterwards, they bundle up leftovers for Monday's lunch. Sounds old fashioned, right? Let's stop action for a moment and let me demonstrate what really happens. Marissa and Jeff arrive and are mauled by Finnigan while Sophie scrapes unwanted skin cells from Marissa's shins. They plop themselves on the leather section and whip out their Smartphones which ding and howl every ten seconds. Dinner is eaten on their laps between tweets and instant messages, their eyelines rarely straying from their devices. Kids, right? Not so fast. This weekend, we invited a pair of elderly friends over ...

I simply cannot wait for deregulation in the cable, Internet and telephone industries. The conglomerates that now run those utilities are cruel, cruel masters who only exist to rip off the poor Canadian ratepayer. They bill for services they can't explain and then they expect us to salute and say: "Yes, sir, Mr. Rogers! Damned straight, Mr. Shaw! Derned tootin', Ma Bell!" I say it's time we started screwing them instead of them screwing us. Last year, we moved and we finally tossed Ma Bell to the curb. We switced our phones to Fido and we bundled all our other services with Rogers, thinking it would be easier. A few months ago, we got two phones for Nick and Shyla on the Rogers' plan. Needless to say, we should be considered awesome customers. Apparently not. This month, we got a little behind on our Rogers bill -- a couple of weeks, max -- due to the extraordinary amount of moolah we had to shell out to the veterinarian to kill two dogs and extract the...