Rose's Cantina

I watched Barbara Walters' interview with Hilary Clinton last week. The burning question: what's with the hair? WTF? The woman is Secretary of State, responsible for ending wars and preventing atrocities and all Babs can ask her is about her hair? Well, she does have a point. I've been obsessing about Hil's hair for quite some time now. I'm obsessing about her hair because I've been obsessing about my own. At 56, my hair was too long. I looked like a sad folk singer still trapped in the 60s with a greying mop of unruly strands flying everywhere. I did get it cut last year but the whole experience left me traumatized. I kept insisting that the woman shorten it up, she kept insisting I looked brilliant with long tresses cut at all angles. She lied. The long layers made me look even more ridiculous. Like Hillary Clinton. An old sad bag with a satchel full of elastics and scrunchies. And my wallet was 50 bucks lighter. So I've stayed away from hai...

I am swiftly coming to the conclusion that all hair dressers are sadistic assholes. Last Saturday, I bravely entered a hair salon for the first time in at least five years. That's because five years ago, I got a horrible hairstyle which made me want to commit suicide. You see, I have Tina Fey hair without Tina Fey's money so my hair always has a sort of half curl. Not a nice curl, a half wave that makes it stick up when my hair is short and frizz when my hair is long. I've been watching old reruns of 30 Rock recently, before Tina decided to embrace the frizz and noticed that she had great, beautiful straight hair. Five years into the series, her hair now looks like a gigantic puff ball. Exactly like mine. I asked the hairdresser not to give me a Tina Fey haircut. I asked her to give me an Ashley Judd haircut but she refused to cut it in a short bob and gave me "layers". I let her because I decided to trust her. It's been five years. I'd thought sa...