Rose's Cantina

I have been called many names in my longish life. One evening out, whilst working in politics, one asshole journalist accused me and my friend of being part of the "cunt club". I've also been called, let's see: a crazy bitch, an idiot, a gossip, a slut, oh yes and ROSIE TITS. That was the name given me by an uppity photographer at the first newspaper where I worked. That's the name I liked the best. I grew up a very sensitive kid, the kind who went to church, believed in God and would not utter one single swear word. That changed, of course, in high school, but I don't believe I ever said "fuck" in front of my mother. High school was where I met up, virtually speaking, with the sage of all swear words, the late, great George Carlin, a man who reveled in saying the Seven Words You Can't Say on Television. You know what they are. I've just mentioned a couple in the paragraphs above, and I know a few bad words George hadn't thought ...

    I come from a long line of flat asses. We have boobs, we have tummies, but our asses are missing in action. My mom was skinny until she went through the change. If she turned sideways she'd disappear. She got older and gained a significant amount of weight, but still no ass. I never really thought about my non-ass until recently, when I couldn't get my pants up. This has happened before, but usually the muffin top is to blame. I was slipping on my Lulu Lizlemon pants the other day and got a gander at my butt. It's fucking huge. I blame -- or credit -- the gym for this phenomenon. The elliptical trainer to be exact. After a couple of years of stair-steppin' on that baby, I have developed a bubble butt. A Kim Kardashian tush the size of a balloon. Happy birthday to me. I'm not complaining. Just sayin'. Maybe it's true. Maybe big bottomed girls do make the world go around. Take that Sheryl Sandberg.      ...

From her privileged perch atop the Facebook empire, Sheryl Sandberg is pulling an Oprah. She's asking working women to Lean In , in her words, to her own brand of consciousness raising. According to the New York Times , she wants ambitious females to devote precious hours in their weekly schedule "to absorb the social science showing they are judged more harshly and paid less than men; resist slowing down in mere anticipation of having children; insist that their husbands split housework equally; draft short- and long-term career plans; and join a “Lean In Circle,” which is half business school and half book club." This sounds absolutely exhausting. I watched Sandberg explain her vision on Katie yesterday. She took us through her own heroic struggle to have it all. She told us that it is possible to have a nice family, double degrees and rise to the top like so much silken cream. It is possible, she said. Just do what I say and it will happen . Seems to m...