Rose's Cantina

Happy Valentine's Day from Rose's Cantina. Hope you have a great day. Turn off CNN and put on a record.

Ten years ago, I decided to take one more chance on love. Our first date was supposed to be Valentine's Day. Well that's not exactly true. Our first date was supposed to be New Year's Eve. When Scott eventually got around to taking me out, it was about four days after a promised date on Valentine's Day. I was not too impressed. But I liked him. I always like him over the 30 years we bumped into each other at the press club. For 30 years, we were each married to other people and rarely spoke to each other. But when we did, he made me smile. I always thought he was nice, funny, handsome. As it turned out he was so much more than that. Over the last ten years, Scott has been the rock of my family. He took over the father role when my ex-husband went AWOL on his parental duties, driving Marissa and her friends to basketball games in far flung cities, helping Stef up to bed after his dates with tequila, picking up Nick at whatever shelter he was frequenting, talki...

Now that I have officially reached the 10th year mark in my relationship with Scott, I feel confident enough to give some advice to the lovelorn. It took me until my 46th year to figure out what makes a successful relationship. I tried marriage twice before and due to infidelity, both went bust before the husband could even get his seven year itch on. I was talking to a younger girlfriend this week who gave me the 411 on the piece of shit who was her long-time boyfriend, whom she caught sexting a senior and boffing a barmaid. It took her a while before she finally kicked his ass to the curb. I also talked to another friend who is in the throes of a bitter divorce thanks to her slimy husband who lost interest in her after she gave birth. Both these women are in their 30s and are pretty much done with men. But I've told them to hold out. The ocean is full of decent middle aged men and the water's fine. Besides, I said, experience is everything. You have to kiss a bun...

Nine years ago, Scott asked me out for Valentine's Day, which I believe was a Tuesday. Then I didn't hear from him until Friday. He took me to a wonderful Italian restaurant and we sealed the deal with pasta, seafood and two bottles of Barolo. We moved in together two weeks later and have been together, and happy ever since. At our age, there was no time to lose. It wasn't love at first sight; I met him 30 years before. Our love grew out of shared interests, fun and great food. It was love at first bite. Love you, honey.

On the near-eve of St. Valentine's Day, the Ottawa Citizen asked a burning question today: why can't single women in this town find suitable mates? We've all heard the old excuse -- that there were more women than men in this burg. Apparently not so. According to recent stats, the balance has shifted and there are now 12,000 men left over after you count all the men who are currently hooked up. Okay, right off the back, I'm questioning their police work. The bean counters may have forgotten to ask one incredibly pertinent question: gay or straight? Given the fact I once heard that one in ten men are gay in Ottawa -- I am sure the number is much, much higher -- I still believe there aren't enough single men for desperate women. Once you factor out the creeps and ne'er do wells, the homeless, the nerdy and the social awkward, I think it's safe to say that decent single women outnumber potential suitors a good three to one. Odds aren't good. ...

To: Heart and Stroke Foundation Death Can Wait Department From: Rose Simpson Re: My email subscription Dear Death: Please cancel my subscription to your service. You have just ruined my Valentine's Day. Yesterday, you sent me an email asking me to "show a loved one you care by taking action against Death" on February 14th. Invite your sweetheart on a long walk before that romantic dinner -- research shows that walking before eating can counteract the effects of a fatty meal. Don't forget to record your healthy actions on your My Actions page (the place a person records their blood pressure)." Thanks Heart and Stroke. Thanks for then proceeding to tell me several stories about women having heart attacks and worse. I don't want to see this kind of crap on the eve of Valentine's Day. All I will be thinking about is whether I'll give my sweetie a heart attack if we decide to do the horizontal mambo. Now I'm re-planning my Valent...