I Am an Illegitimate Child, According to Ancestry.ca

I was excited to finally get Ancestry.ca in hopes of tracking down information about my father, Russ, who died back in 1957. It's part of a book/audio project I'm working on, and I wanted to make sure the information I was referencing was accurate. I didn't know dear old dad since he died when I was a baby. I thought I might get some insight into the man whose name is on my birth certificate by looking him up on the popular website.

Imagine my surprise to see the above information.

"He married Vera Crown and they had two children together. He also had one daughter from a previous relationship," the post read.

Huh.

So my mom lied, and I am the bastard child of some other woman? How did this happen?

Did some floosy simply drop off her bundle of joy on my mom's doorstep when dad was busy fighting bad guys in Europe during the war? When exactly did he have time to father a child in-between trips back and forth on army leave?

No wonder my mom had a nervous breakdown.

She lied to me about everything! That she tried to abort me by falling down the steps! That she really never wanted kids, but dad kept putting them in her between visits to the battlefield!

Oh, my God! How could this happen?

Then I realized somebody was screwing with me on Ancestry.ca. They put that stuff on my family tree just for a laugh. And gave me a leaf.

I never did find my dad's info on their search engine. I'm going to have to do it the hard way by applying to the Department of National Defence for his military records. I'll have to show proof to do so, not like Ancestry.ca which apparently lets anybody write anything about you.

My new task is to find the culprit who rewrote my entire life story.

I'm going to find out who it is, and launch a counter-attack.

I'm going to say that whatever relative did this to me is the bastard child of Donald J. Trump.

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