Rose's Cantina

Two weeks ago, I received my first unsolicited copy of the Ottawa Citizen. I used to be a subscriber, maybe for twenty years. I also used to subscribe to the Globe and Mail -- even the New York Times ...for a time. I loved everything about newspapers. I wrote for them. I was devoted to them. I kept copies of my own articles until they became yeller. I even laminated one. It is now the color of a rubbie's fingers. Yuck. I don't write for papers much anymore because it's too hard to get published. I can't take the rejection. That's why I blog. Anyway, a few years ago, I stopped getting the paper. I read everything online now, just like the rest of the world. I get most of the content for free. If a news organization has a paywall, I don't care. I stop reading it. I get the flyers delivered right to my inbox. I have something called Obit Messenger to tell me which of my friends has shuffled off. My carbon foot print is now more like a toe dip. I...

View image | gettyimages.com My husband and I are both turning 60 next year, that magical age when all things are supposed to come together. You have great sex because Mom has gone through menopause and Dad is taking Viagra. You can finally take that trip you've put off because the dogs are all dead, and the kids are on their own. And your life becomes a series of bridge and golf games, endless parties, and trips to the gym. It's like Dick Van Dyke meets the Biggest Loser meets the speciality channels. I am lucky because I am 59 and I am not on any medication whatsoever. The doctor tried to put me on high blood pressure pills until I outsmarted him by purchasing a blood pressure cuff. I actually have low blood pressure! I go to the gym regularly, and I eat properly and still manage to get in a few glasses of red with no ill effects (cross your legs, fingers and toes). And I have perfect 20-20 long distance vision thanks to Dr. Myles and his five second cataract cur...