Skip to main content

Canada Day: Blackflies and Tim Horton Sugar Highs




Happy Canada weekend!
I was born on Canada Day, back in 1956.
It was actually July 2nd, but because I decided to exit my mother on a Monday, the nation threw a party for me.
My mother Vera was less than pleased. She had just popped a roast into the oven when the bun she already had in there decided to rise leaving her in a puddle in the middle of the kitchen. It was the first, but not the last time, my mother was pissed at me.
My father was nowhere to be found, I'm sure, so it was up to Gramps to take her to the hospital where I was proclaimed Rosalie, after a Scottish aunt, and Donna, after my Uncle Donnie paid my dad to put his name on the birth certificate.
Since then I've always celebrated my birthday on Canada Day. It has been pretty much out of necessity because everybody takes off to their cottages or on holidays after waving flags around here, so I've had to become strategic.
I will spend the day out in the backyard greeting guests in shifts, as some of them will be arriving early on their way to better parties.
We will eat sausages from Adam's Sausage Outlet, a place just down the road from the Ottawa Food Bank. Adam's makes the best meat vessels: brats, hot Italian, chorizo. Man, we loves us some sausages.
There will be burgers and dips and brownies, and salads and gluten free chips for the vegetarians and intestinally challenged. Yes, and strawberries bought from the Ottawa Farmers' Market.
It will be the Feast of Rosalita and I simply cannot wait.
Strangely, I'm looking forward to 58, filled with gratitude that I made it this far with only a testy gallbladder and mildly fatty liver -- not bad for a girl who once made Joe Walsh seem like an amateur.
This year, I have decided to refrain from making resolutions. Instead, I'll-do-the-best-I-can.
You know, love the skin I'm in, which by the middle of the month will be filled with botulism, just in time for my daughter's wedding.
Some old habits are hard to change.
Pass the tequila, Sheila, lay down and love me again.
Wishing you Happy Canada Day, peace and good government.
Remember, we live in the greatest country in the world if you like blackflies and Tim Horton sugar highs.
Party on, Canucks!
Remember: Don't drink and drive.
And kiss a beaver, if you can find one.


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ashley Simpson: Don't Let Her Die in Vain

  Six years ago, I was combing through my Facebook and I saw post from my cousin Julie Major. Her brother and his wife were frantically looking for their daughter Ashley who just days before had Facetimed her mom saying she was planning to return to her home in Niagara. Ashley never made it home. She was murdered in cold blood in her home in Salmon Arm then buried in a nearby field. It would be five and a half years before her body was located, and her boyfriend was charged with second degree murder.  Today, Ashley's urn has a sacred spot in her parents' home, and Derek Favell is in jail awaiting trial by judge and jury. The trial is expected to go into next year sometime. This has been an agonizing journey for Ashley's friends and family. The pain has never stopped, and the wounds are broken open every time the family has to sit through a series of pre-trial proceedings. Fortunately, this ordeal will end but the pain will never wane for the people, including me, who have b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ashley Simpson: A Father Remembers

I have asked Ashley Simpson's family and friends to give us a glimpse into the life she lived before going missing nearly a month ago. Here is how her father John remembers his sweet girl. Ashley was a treat when she came into this world, a smashing 9lbs 8 ounces with a  head full of hair and nails that needed to be clipped. She has made many friends in her journey of life and continues to make them as we speak. She has made this world a better place by her love of mankind and this place we call Earth; unfortunately this life she has lived hasn't been the best for her. She has suffered through unbearable pain and suffering through her menstrual cycles. She has cysts on her ovaries that make those 10 days a living hell. She had one of her ovaries removed when she was just 14; the other they won't take out till she is 40 or older. Years of hell for my Ashley. I so feel her pain every month but she doesn't quit, doesn't give in.   That'...
9 comments
Read more

What Bell isn't telling you about Fibe TV

Update: This week, we switched back to Rogers after spending far too long using Bell's crappy television service. For those with Bell, read and weep. For those considering Bell, think twice even if you hate Rogers. RS I've always been an early technology adapter. I had a Betamax. That tells you everything (if you're over 50 at least). My first computer was a "Portable". It weighed 40 pounds and I had to lug it around town on a gurney. I've been through probably 15 computers in my lifetime. Apple is the best. It's also too expensive so I have a piece of shit HP, the one I'm writing this blog on. I've had cable, internet and now Netflix. American Netflix . That's how far ahead of the curve I am. I get all the newspapers for free. How? I disabled my cookies so they can't track me when I'm on the newspaper sites. Even the New York Times hasn't cottoned on to that trick. Hahaha. That will be a fifty buck consulting fee. Bein...
38 comments
Read more