Still Life as a Freelance Writer

5:30 a.m. Awake with a start realizing that you're on deadline in France. Hobble out of bed, let the dogs out, put the kettle on.

7:00: Four web stories written. Mission accomplished.

7:15: Push button to send invoice.

7:30: Off to gym. Then to Farmboy to pick up kale and carrots for juice.

8:00: Head ache. Back home to feed the dogs.

8:30: Peck the husband on the cheek. Send him off to sell cheap cars to sacked public servants with severance.

9:00: Check Facebook, Twitter, newspapers, look for fodder for the blog.

9:03: Score! Rob and Doug Ford. This shit literally writes itself.

9:15: Blog finished.

9:30: Juice and three egg omelette

10:00: Check email. Nemesis in France is fired because, to quote her words, "everybody hates her and thinks she's evil". Think to oneself: God has answered prayer. Send the Holy Spirit a high five.

10:05: Send condolences. Secretly hope she drops off the Eiffel Tower.

10:10: Note to newest boss. We will have a bright future together; here's how we do it!

10:30: Check the mail. No money. Check the bank account. No money transfers.

11:00: Count change for pilgrimmage for dog food.

11:30: Lunch! Juice and left over hamburger. :( Feeling passive aggressive.

Noon: Nap time.

2:00. Dr. Oz.

2:30: Ice cream!

3:00: Arrested Development marathon begins.

6:00 Dinner. Roast chicken. Bean salad.

6:15: Martini, five olives.

6:30: Arrested Development marathon continues.

11:00: Let out the hounds. Bedtime.

11:15: Dreams of Mike Duffy. Not pretty.

11:30: REM

5:30 a.m. Start all over again.

Stunt freelance writer. Don't try this at home.

Comments

Ashley Simpson: Conversation with Derek Favell Revealed

On April 2, 2017, a family friend of Ashley Simpson opened her Facebook Messenger and got the surprise of her life. Cathy MacLeod had been trying to correspond with Ashley's boyfriend, Derek Favell, who was the last person to see the St. Catharines native before she disappeared from her home in Salmon Arm, B.C. a year before. She wanted to know more about what happened to Ashley, and why Favell had refused to take a polygraph test when many others close to the missing woman agreed to do so. "I wanted to poke the bear," she said, and sent several messages to Favell pleading with him to talk to her. " Please help us," she wrote. "It's been 10 months of pure hell. A lie detector would help if you have nothing to hide. I beg of you, help us, take the test to clear your name if there’s nothing to hide." Many, including members of the Simpson family, found Derek's behaviour, at least, curious. Ashley had disappeared on April 27, 2016. Yet it took

Ashley Simpson: A Father Remembers

I have asked Ashley Simpson's family and friends to give us a glimpse into the life she lived before going missing nearly a month ago. Here is how her father John remembers his sweet girl. Ashley was a treat when she came into this world, a smashing 9lbs 8 ounces with a head full of hair and nails that needed to be clipped. She has made many friends in her journey of life and continues to make them as we speak. She has made this world a better place by her love of mankind and this place we call Earth; unfortunately this life she has lived hasn't been the best for her. She has suffered through unbearable pain and suffering through her menstrual cycles. She has cysts on her ovaries that make those 10 days a living hell. She had one of her ovaries removed when she was just 14; the other they won't take out till she is 40 or older. Years of hell for my Ashley. I so feel her pain every month but she doesn't quit, doesn't give in. That's my

What Bell isn't telling you about Fibe TV

Update: This week, we switched back to Rogers after spending far too long using Bell's crappy television service. For those with Bell, read and weep. For those considering Bell, think twice even if you hate Rogers. RS I've always been an early technology adapter. I had a Betamax. That tells you everything (if you're over 50 at least). My first computer was a "Portable". It weighed 40 pounds and I had to lug it around town on a gurney. I've been through probably 15 computers in my lifetime. Apple is the best. It's also too expensive so I have a piece of shit HP, the one I'm writing this blog on. I've had cable, internet and now Netflix. American Netflix . That's how far ahead of the curve I am. I get all the newspapers for free. How? I disabled my cookies so they can't track me when I'm on the newspaper sites. Even the New York Times hasn't cottoned on to that trick. Hahaha. That will be a fifty buck consulting fee. Bein

Rose's Cantina

Search This Blog