Skip to main content

Rumors of my demise

For those of you concerned about my mental health, I have one word: chill.
It's true I've been a bit down in the dumps of late, and have chosen to go a bit dark with my wordsmithing in this space. I have good reason.
I'm contemplating ending the life of my Jurassic Pug, Gordon J. Blackstone because he's got some health problems.
I just lost my job this week. Scott's only working part-time, so we're going to have to do some juggling.
And I'm going for a mammogram on Friday because the radiologist thought he saw something six months ago.
Yeah, all in all, it's been a pretty tough few months.
But this is the life of a middle aged freelance writer. It's the only life I've known since my husband up and left me two decades ago with three small children. I lurch from crisis to crisis, chase the phantom job that will one day allow me to go to the dentist and juggle a ball or three.
I'm used to it.
But I'm not a depressive person by nature. While I'm not a glass is half full person by nature, I'm a realist. It's more like I live a half and half life.
Besides, it gives me good material for this blog.
The good news is that it doesn't take much to make me happy. I can live on next to nothing. I go to First Choice to get my haircut instead of a fancy schmansie salon where it costs sixty bucks to get the ends trimmed. I watch Kitchen Nightmares instead of going to posh restaurants. And I'm still wearing Value Village golf shirts I bought a decade ago.
Here's the thing. On a day like today, when the sun is shining and the snow is melting, my heart overflows with happiness. Today, I will feel the sun on my face as we walk the hounds. I will savor the feel of the sweat dripping down my brow at the gymnasty. And we will eat a nice and wonderful dinner of Scott's making while watching some bad television.
Often I hear the baby Skylar crying in the basement and it makes me smile. That lovely little girl is the light of my life, with her blue eyes sparkling, and her wispy hair starting to curl just so. I get the benefit of that light without having to do any of the heavy lifting. Being a grandma rocks!
And of course, I have my wonderful kids and Scott, who is my rock.
Ten years we've lived together, even worked together, and we always have something to talk about. He is the one who picks me up and dusts me off when I'm feeling blue.
At this age, as I watch some of my friends bury their spouses, I sometimes think I'm the luckiest girl on the planet.
Money and jobs are incidental.
Dogs come and go.
But as long as I have love in my life, the bad stuff rolls off.
Not always, but mostly.
So thanks for your calls and concern. I love to hear from friends from long ago who read my blog and live this weird life along with me. I am gratified for your donations to this blog.
And I am confident that things will get better.
They always do.


In the meantime, turn your clocks back, homies. It's spring!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ashley Simpson: Don't Let Her Die in Vain

  Six years ago, I was combing through my Facebook and I saw post from my cousin Julie Major. Her brother and his wife were frantically looking for their daughter Ashley who just days before had Facetimed her mom saying she was planning to return to her home in Niagara. Ashley never made it home. She was murdered in cold blood in her home in Salmon Arm then buried in a nearby field. It would be five and a half years before her body was located, and her boyfriend was charged with second degree murder.  Today, Ashley's urn has a sacred spot in her parents' home, and Derek Favell is in jail awaiting trial by judge and jury. The trial is expected to go into next year sometime. This has been an agonizing journey for Ashley's friends and family. The pain has never stopped, and the wounds are broken open every time the family has to sit through a series of pre-trial proceedings. Fortunately, this ordeal will end but the pain will never wane for the people, including me, who have b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ashley Simpson: A Father Remembers

I have asked Ashley Simpson's family and friends to give us a glimpse into the life she lived before going missing nearly a month ago. Here is how her father John remembers his sweet girl. Ashley was a treat when she came into this world, a smashing 9lbs 8 ounces with a  head full of hair and nails that needed to be clipped. She has made many friends in her journey of life and continues to make them as we speak. She has made this world a better place by her love of mankind and this place we call Earth; unfortunately this life she has lived hasn't been the best for her. She has suffered through unbearable pain and suffering through her menstrual cycles. She has cysts on her ovaries that make those 10 days a living hell. She had one of her ovaries removed when she was just 14; the other they won't take out till she is 40 or older. Years of hell for my Ashley. I so feel her pain every month but she doesn't quit, doesn't give in.   That'...
9 comments
Read more

What Bell isn't telling you about Fibe TV

Update: This week, we switched back to Rogers after spending far too long using Bell's crappy television service. For those with Bell, read and weep. For those considering Bell, think twice even if you hate Rogers. RS I've always been an early technology adapter. I had a Betamax. That tells you everything (if you're over 50 at least). My first computer was a "Portable". It weighed 40 pounds and I had to lug it around town on a gurney. I've been through probably 15 computers in my lifetime. Apple is the best. It's also too expensive so I have a piece of shit HP, the one I'm writing this blog on. I've had cable, internet and now Netflix. American Netflix . That's how far ahead of the curve I am. I get all the newspapers for free. How? I disabled my cookies so they can't track me when I'm on the newspaper sites. Even the New York Times hasn't cottoned on to that trick. Hahaha. That will be a fifty buck consulting fee. Bein...
38 comments
Read more