Skip to main content

Ode to the Underwood: A workhorse in its day






Looking at this sad little machine, I'm realizing it may be time to retire it, or maybe simply use it as a virtual recipe box in the kitchen.
It's only been a year and bit, but my laptop is unreliable. I've had to reformat the hard drive already because of a virus. The keys are not only sticking but the lettering has nearly rubbed off on some of them. I work my machines hard, every day, slamming down on the keys when they aren't working properly, taking my frustration out on them.
I am an impatient ass.
Ask my husband.
The old Underwood, the one I learned to type on, didn't have these problems. You just replaced the ribbon once in a while and it was good to go. People who pecked on Underwoods had strong hands and upper arms, like pianists. Nobody ever complained about carpal tunnel or repetitive stress, at least nobody ever complained about them to me.
Basement museums are full of old Underwoods. They still work. They'll still work in a thousand years if you could get ribbons for them.
I gave up on the Underwood 30 years ago. They were messy and heavy.
They are absolutely ridiculous now.
When I got my first job at the Ottawa Journal, we used both typewriters and computers.
The black screen with strange glow-in-the-dark lettering seemed almost otherworldly back in the days when editors still drank and smoked at their desks and yelled "get me rewrite, schweet-hot".
I've been grateful for a machine with memory ever since. No more retyping, like in university. Computers make some people better writers, some people worse writers. Revision is good in most cases. Not in mine. I don't have the patience to do it, which is why I don't write novels.
Back in the early 80s, computers were still bulky, remember?
And you actually had to know computer commands, F this and F that.
Which was pretty much what was mumbled under the breath of frustrated writers when their work suddenly disappeared.
I was excited to get my first "portable", something called a Kaypro.


By the time the Kaypro came out, I had already ended my journalism career, having watched my beloved Journal become one of the first victims of convergence. At 25, I was a political consultant working in offices on the Hill and dragging my Kaypro, all 30 pounds of it, on a dolley down Sparks Street Mall.
People were impressed, let me tell you.
My best memory of those days was a job working on a federal budget. I was given Marc Lalonde's office  -- his actually friggin' office, with a bathroom and everything -- where I set up my Kaypro and looked over Parliament Hill while all the other big wigs were working on typewriters in the supply room. I'm convinced the Kaypro got me the posh digs since it was too big to be placed anywhere else.
Hah!
During my speechwriting days, I always had two computers in case one failed. Computers were always breaking in the 80s and 90s. Unlike my friends in the govenrment, I didn't have high priced IT guys, so backups were essential.
Those were the glory days of my computing. Six figure salaries, a posh home office, ten thousand dollars worth of hardware and office furniture.
Gosh, it takes me back.
Not like now.
Now I just have this piece of shit HP laptop and a fifty dollar printer. My basement is littered with old monitors and hard drives, ones that have long ceased being useful.
This month, I am taking a leap into another world, the world of Apple.
My health depends on it.
You see, thanks to years of pecking, squinting and stooping, I can barely move my neck to the left anymore. So I need a desk top writing tool, one that allows me to look up and forward again.
Like the Underwoods and Kaypros of yore, I am throwing my PC to the curb and getting a beautiful, fancy iMac. They're expensive, I know, but I hear they are worth it.


Macs are workhorses. Their support plan is stellar.
Scott has a Macbook Pro for video editing and even though it's had its battery and hard drive replaced at Apple's expense, it still works like a charm. And it has a keyboard that lights up.
Awesome.
Mine won't be so grand but I can't wait to have a big monitor and an operating system that treats my words with respect instead of freezing them.
It will be a dreammachine.
Just like the Underwood and the Kaypro were in their day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ashley Simpson: Don't Let Her Die in Vain

  Six years ago, I was combing through my Facebook and I saw post from my cousin Julie Major. Her brother and his wife were frantically looking for their daughter Ashley who just days before had Facetimed her mom saying she was planning to return to her home in Niagara. Ashley never made it home. She was murdered in cold blood in her home in Salmon Arm then buried in a nearby field. It would be five and a half years before her body was located, and her boyfriend was charged with second degree murder.  Today, Ashley's urn has a sacred spot in her parents' home, and Derek Favell is in jail awaiting trial by judge and jury. The trial is expected to go into next year sometime. This has been an agonizing journey for Ashley's friends and family. The pain has never stopped, and the wounds are broken open every time the family has to sit through a series of pre-trial proceedings. Fortunately, this ordeal will end but the pain will never wane for the people, including me, who have b...

Ashley Simpson: A Father Remembers

I have asked Ashley Simpson's family and friends to give us a glimpse into the life she lived before going missing nearly a month ago. Here is how her father John remembers his sweet girl. Ashley was a treat when she came into this world, a smashing 9lbs 8 ounces with a  head full of hair and nails that needed to be clipped. She has made many friends in her journey of life and continues to make them as we speak. She has made this world a better place by her love of mankind and this place we call Earth; unfortunately this life she has lived hasn't been the best for her. She has suffered through unbearable pain and suffering through her menstrual cycles. She has cysts on her ovaries that make those 10 days a living hell. She had one of her ovaries removed when she was just 14; the other they won't take out till she is 40 or older. Years of hell for my Ashley. I so feel her pain every month but she doesn't quit, doesn't give in.   That'...

What Bell isn't telling you about Fibe TV

Update: This week, we switched back to Rogers after spending far too long using Bell's crappy television service. For those with Bell, read and weep. For those considering Bell, think twice even if you hate Rogers. RS I've always been an early technology adapter. I had a Betamax. That tells you everything (if you're over 50 at least). My first computer was a "Portable". It weighed 40 pounds and I had to lug it around town on a gurney. I've been through probably 15 computers in my lifetime. Apple is the best. It's also too expensive so I have a piece of shit HP, the one I'm writing this blog on. I've had cable, internet and now Netflix. American Netflix . That's how far ahead of the curve I am. I get all the newspapers for free. How? I disabled my cookies so they can't track me when I'm on the newspaper sites. Even the New York Times hasn't cottoned on to that trick. Hahaha. That will be a fifty buck consulting fee. Bein...