Dog behavior: What's this crap?

Of late, our family spends a lot of time obessing over the bathroom habits of our dogs.

Oh, oh, Finnie swallowed a chewbone. We'll be up all night!
Gordie hasn't had a poo all day. What's with that?
Finnigan, good boy!

The bowels of our dogs are directly related to their behavior, our ability to sleep through the night and the state of our carpets.
If Finnigan is "off", he is completely uncontrollable and will eat or destroy anything in sight. If Gordie gets backed up, steer clear!

Gordie, the pug, is the funniest one of all. If Skylar, the baby, is anywhere in sight, Gordie will crap himself where he stands, which is usually right behind me, Scott or Nick. Invariably we step in it.
I saw him barking at the neighbors yesterday, standing guard at the fence, and with each bark, a stream of fecal matter oozed out.
You couldn't turn away.
Today, this glorious day, Gordie ate his breakfast then went out and did his business.
Like the old days.
God, I long for the old days.

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