Rogers: Too bad, so sad

I've always said that I like to get kissed before I get fucked.
Well, it seems Rogers would rather that I took it up the ass without complaint.
In the previous column, I wrote that we had decided to cancel Rogers Cable/Internet/Home Phone/Prostitution charge because we had our services restricted because we were three weeks late paying a bill. Tonight, we had our services restored once we gave them our credit card plus access to my granddaughter's stem cells.
But we'd had enough.
The PVR never worked properly. My Internet went down five times in the last week.
I've been a loyal Rogers customer -- a VIP customer no less -- since 1997.
Too bad, so sad, they said.
We informed them tonight we were switching to Bell -- oh, the horror! -- and they told us it would cost us $180 for a cancellation fee for Internet and cable plus we had to give them thirty days notice. I told them, okay, then downgrade our cable to basic for one month.
This after basically 15 years as a customer.
But no! We will pay for the full service and I will lose my email access even though I'm paying for the it for thirty days.
We're keeping the cell phones because they told us it would cost us A THOUSAND DOLLARS to cancel.
Needless to say, we done with Rogers.
Rogers sucks balls.
I hope the Blue Jays lose.