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The Bitch on the Oscars


Maybe it was the wine, but I had a good time watching the Oscars last night.

Not because of the show, which pretty much blew as usual.

I found it entertaining because of what E! put in its disclaimer.

We're live, so anything can happen. Viewer discretion is advised.

Better to be live than dead.

The night got off to a good start when Sasha Baron Cohen dressed in character to promote his film, The Dictator, stumbled and dumped an urn of ashes on Ryan Seacrest. The ashes were supposed to be North Korean's Kim Jong -- not the remnants of the last five winners of American Idol.

Or Dick Clark for that matter.

Then we got to watch Jennifer Lopez accidentally slip a nip. It wasn't much of a slip, as far as I could see but it created quite a buzz on Twitter. I mean the dress didn't leave much to the imagination to begin with.

But guys like Michael Douglas need something to live for, right?

And the cherry on top was when that that old hasbeen Sean Young got arrested for punching a security guard at the Oscar party. What is it about the women Kevin Costner hooks up with, cinematically speaking?

First Whitney, now Sean.

Flameouts acting badly.

I was really glad the French and Italians cleaned up with The Artist and Hugo respectively.

Glad that George and Brad got the big goose egg.

Glad the The Tree of Life is now the Tree of Death.

The show was pretty old school, if you ask me. And there's something comforting about that.

Somebody pointed out that Billy Crystal was doing a Sammy Davis Jr. impression and none of the youngsters watching knew who Sammy was.

I'm guess the Neilsons will reveal that most youngin's weren't watching the Oscars in the first place. I mean, why would a 16-year-old watch to watch Cirque du Soleil? Why would she care if The Artist won over Moneyball?

I thought Billy was pretty edgy for Billy.

It took a lot of guts for him to kiss George Clooney. Not because he's a dude, but because he might catch something. Hope he wore a mouth dam.

I'm glad that Viola Davis didn't win. She's been pretty uppity lately, calling herself an "artist" and nobody suspected the other fat girl to win.

Go Octavia!

I was somewhat disappoint that Bridesmaids didn't do better.

I suppose the Academy didn't want to get shit on their shoes and barf in their perfectly coiffed hairstyles.

Overall, I'd give the Oscars E for Effort.
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