Skip to main content

Microsoft's bony little finger



The computer wars continue today.

On Saturday, my trusty computer -- the one Nick built -- died a horrible death.

Just wouldn't turn on.

Not even when we fed it carrots.

So Sunday, I whipped out my backup HP, the sluggish one that had been sitting in the closet for about a year. It chugged and spattered, whirled and wimpered, long enough for me to complete several days of work that had piled up.

Then, in mid-interview transcript, it put itself on life support.

Just like that.

Yesterday, I pulled the plug.

That left me with the HP laptop Scott had bought me in the summer, the one I am writing on now, which I have been using exclusively for blogging and adding nasty comments to CTV Ottawa web stories.

I bought it out of the box at one of those Future Shop near giveaways and it worked perfectly fine, except for one slight problem.

It had no software.

It came with the bare bones, Mickey Mouse little programs that I never use, games I never play, and ads for services I will never buy.

I didn't purchase the grown up software because it was too expensive.

Besides, the desktop computer was fully loaded with Cadillac Microsoft software Scott was given by one of the company's salesmen, gratis, because the guy liked the car Scott sold him.

That stupid software costs Microsoft pennies, I reckon, but the evil Microsoft empire shakes us down for hundreds of dollars to purchase it.

So I refuse to buy software until it is needed.

And yesterday, it was sorely needed.

Sadly, with the remaining sheckles left in my pocket, I sent my wonderful son to purchase the Microsoft Office Student and Home Edition.

By day's end, I could re-enter the world of work in hopes of raising enough cash to pay for software.

You don't get much for $160, just a disk in a plastic case that can satisfy the needs of three hungry computers. You don't even get an email management program, anymore.

What a rip.

Sheesh.

My package did come with a mouse for the dogs to chew on.

Thank Microsoft for small favors.

So, I'm up and rolling once again. I'm going to have listen to the drone of my own voice today as I retype my interview transcript.

Unfortunately, I can't print it.

Did I mention that?

The printer died on Monday.

The law of technological obsolescence.

Here today, gone tomorrow.

Microsoft's bony little digital finger fully inserted up your trusty little butt hole.

Wallet that much lighter.

One of my Facebook friends posed this question to me yesterday.

Why do all computers and cars die just before Christmas?

It's all part of the masterplan.

It's because they're all made in Japan.

And Japan is evil.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ashley Simpson: Don't Let Her Die in Vain

  Six years ago, I was combing through my Facebook and I saw post from my cousin Julie Major. Her brother and his wife were frantically looking for their daughter Ashley who just days before had Facetimed her mom saying she was planning to return to her home in Niagara. Ashley never made it home. She was murdered in cold blood in her home in Salmon Arm then buried in a nearby field. It would be five and a half years before her body was located, and her boyfriend was charged with second degree murder.  Today, Ashley's urn has a sacred spot in her parents' home, and Derek Favell is in jail awaiting trial by judge and jury. The trial is expected to go into next year sometime. This has been an agonizing journey for Ashley's friends and family. The pain has never stopped, and the wounds are broken open every time the family has to sit through a series of pre-trial proceedings. Fortunately, this ordeal will end but the pain will never wane for the people, including me, who have b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ashley Simpson: A Father Remembers

I have asked Ashley Simpson's family and friends to give us a glimpse into the life she lived before going missing nearly a month ago. Here is how her father John remembers his sweet girl. Ashley was a treat when she came into this world, a smashing 9lbs 8 ounces with a  head full of hair and nails that needed to be clipped. She has made many friends in her journey of life and continues to make them as we speak. She has made this world a better place by her love of mankind and this place we call Earth; unfortunately this life she has lived hasn't been the best for her. She has suffered through unbearable pain and suffering through her menstrual cycles. She has cysts on her ovaries that make those 10 days a living hell. She had one of her ovaries removed when she was just 14; the other they won't take out till she is 40 or older. Years of hell for my Ashley. I so feel her pain every month but she doesn't quit, doesn't give in.   That'...
9 comments
Read more

What Bell isn't telling you about Fibe TV

Update: This week, we switched back to Rogers after spending far too long using Bell's crappy television service. For those with Bell, read and weep. For those considering Bell, think twice even if you hate Rogers. RS I've always been an early technology adapter. I had a Betamax. That tells you everything (if you're over 50 at least). My first computer was a "Portable". It weighed 40 pounds and I had to lug it around town on a gurney. I've been through probably 15 computers in my lifetime. Apple is the best. It's also too expensive so I have a piece of shit HP, the one I'm writing this blog on. I've had cable, internet and now Netflix. American Netflix . That's how far ahead of the curve I am. I get all the newspapers for free. How? I disabled my cookies so they can't track me when I'm on the newspaper sites. Even the New York Times hasn't cottoned on to that trick. Hahaha. That will be a fifty buck consulting fee. Bein...
38 comments
Read more