Skip to main content

The give in the middle



I totally ran out of clean Lulu Liz Lemon yoga pants today, so I went rummaging through the back of my closet looking for a pair of jeans.

Yoga pants are the modern day equivalent of the stretch peacock blue pants my mom used to wear at my age. They are warm and comfortable and have the right amount of give to compensate for a middle age woman's burgeoning omentum.

Last year, in an optimistic afternoon, I bought three pairs of jeans at Addition Elle. I found them today, there in my closet, still too skinny in the middle for me to wear.

It brought a tear to my eye.

I was discouraged.

I've been working out like a fiend for nine months now and I haven't lost enough middle fat to fit into those jeans. Nine friggin' months of six day a week slogging on ellipticals and rowers, and still not a significant enough weight change.

I had hoped that I wouldn't have to buy Spanx for the Christmas season. I hope and pray for a lot of things.

Employment. A proper hair cut.

Good television on Friday.

None of it seems to work out.

I hate, hate, hate being middle aged.

So in desperation this morning, I reached to the very back of the closet and there they were, my 10-year-old reliable black jeans that fit me no matter how much pumpkin pie I consume.

When I bought the new jeans, I was determined to throw out these old ones.

In fact, I thought I had thrown them out.

But there they still were.

An insurance policy for my figure.

Aside from being grey instead of black, my jeans are still perfect. They have a waist not much smaller than my hips, a waistline large enough to compensate for my perennial muffin top. They are as soft and smooth as Ming's belly and emphasize my best assets -- my taut hips and athletic legs.

When I found my antique jeans, I clutched them to my bosom and gave them an Eskimo kiss. These jeans deserve all the love I can give them.

I know I can count on them for another season and I predict they will still be in my closet when I go through my seasonal change in 2012.

It's nice to know, no matter how much the world changes, that there are still some things that a person can count on.

Puppy love.

Christmas carols in November.

And soft grey jeans with the give in the middle.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ashley Simpson: Don't Let Her Die in Vain

  Six years ago, I was combing through my Facebook and I saw post from my cousin Julie Major. Her brother and his wife were frantically looking for their daughter Ashley who just days before had Facetimed her mom saying she was planning to return to her home in Niagara. Ashley never made it home. She was murdered in cold blood in her home in Salmon Arm then buried in a nearby field. It would be five and a half years before her body was located, and her boyfriend was charged with second degree murder.  Today, Ashley's urn has a sacred spot in her parents' home, and Derek Favell is in jail awaiting trial by judge and jury. The trial is expected to go into next year sometime. This has been an agonizing journey for Ashley's friends and family. The pain has never stopped, and the wounds are broken open every time the family has to sit through a series of pre-trial proceedings. Fortunately, this ordeal will end but the pain will never wane for the people, including me, who have b...
Post a Comment
Read more

Ashley Simpson: A Father Remembers

I have asked Ashley Simpson's family and friends to give us a glimpse into the life she lived before going missing nearly a month ago. Here is how her father John remembers his sweet girl. Ashley was a treat when she came into this world, a smashing 9lbs 8 ounces with a  head full of hair and nails that needed to be clipped. She has made many friends in her journey of life and continues to make them as we speak. She has made this world a better place by her love of mankind and this place we call Earth; unfortunately this life she has lived hasn't been the best for her. She has suffered through unbearable pain and suffering through her menstrual cycles. She has cysts on her ovaries that make those 10 days a living hell. She had one of her ovaries removed when she was just 14; the other they won't take out till she is 40 or older. Years of hell for my Ashley. I so feel her pain every month but she doesn't quit, doesn't give in.   That'...
9 comments
Read more

What Bell isn't telling you about Fibe TV

Update: This week, we switched back to Rogers after spending far too long using Bell's crappy television service. For those with Bell, read and weep. For those considering Bell, think twice even if you hate Rogers. RS I've always been an early technology adapter. I had a Betamax. That tells you everything (if you're over 50 at least). My first computer was a "Portable". It weighed 40 pounds and I had to lug it around town on a gurney. I've been through probably 15 computers in my lifetime. Apple is the best. It's also too expensive so I have a piece of shit HP, the one I'm writing this blog on. I've had cable, internet and now Netflix. American Netflix . That's how far ahead of the curve I am. I get all the newspapers for free. How? I disabled my cookies so they can't track me when I'm on the newspaper sites. Even the New York Times hasn't cottoned on to that trick. Hahaha. That will be a fifty buck consulting fee. Bein...
38 comments
Read more