Rose's Cantina

#181126971 / gettyimages.com At the end of August, CD Warehouse closed out its famous St. Laurent Blvd. location. Now, it's closing its other stores in the west end. It will be a sad time for those of us who liked to spend time there browsing for those unique little musical gems, the ones handmade with love by our hometown heroes and beloved legends. I remember spending time there with my friend Dave, now long passed, who liked to buy CDs made by the sidemen, the musicians who added the little amazing touches, a lick here, a beat there, to sweeten an already wonderfully-made concoction. It was like adding just a touch of rhubarb to a perfect strawberry pie. Dave the bass player had the most incredible collection of CDs and vinyl. I used to curl up for hours beside him, over a few beers, maybe a joint, and let the knowledge rain down on my little ears. God, he knew his stuff. Those were the days, my friend, I thought they'd never end. They did, of ...

#146276057 / gettyimages.com After three long years standing on the weight loss plateau, I've finally found a machine at the gym that works for me. It's made by Octane Fitness and it's a combination elliptical and strider which requires the athletic supporter to run in a squatting position -- backwards. Whilst everyone else around is blissfully gliding up and down as if they were on a merry-go-round, you are slipping and sliding in a number of delightful poses and positions. While they are glowing with a light mist of perspiration, you are leaving buckets of sweat on the floor. This machine means business. I call it the Punisher because if you don't hit a decent clip, it turns off the audio on the television. So you're standing there waiting to see if Mandy Patinkin gets the perp on Criminal Minds, and all of a sudden -- silence! What criminal mind thought of this punishment? I've been working out on this machine for three weeks, and I've dropped ...

Today, I took my tired-looking self over to see Sheila Mackay, a registered nurse who works at the Facial Surgery and Cosmetic Centre of Ottawa. Sheila is the angel who sticks needles in my face, and I love her. She gives me Botox and Dermal Filler to fill in my craggy good looks. A lot of people will say: "what a ridiculous thing to do" or "you look just fine the way you are; you should love yourself more" or --- and I really hate this -- "I don't need that stuff. I've earned every wrinkle." I say, good for you. If you want to look like a topographic map, that's your right and I will defend to the death your right to look like the Canadian Shield. It's true, I don't look that bad for 58. With the help of hair dye and makeup, I can pass for 50 even younger because I don't have a face that looks like an unmade bed. I don't smoke. I have a nap nearly every day. I eat my veggies. I exercise. And I get my eight hours ...

#157310245 / gettyimages.com I'm updating this post which discusses the sale of Wagyu Beef in my local Loblaw store, a move that turned out to be an absolutely disaster. Apparently, the Loblaw superstore sold only five Wagyu steaks last week. And the Loblaw in Vanier had its entire stock of Wagyu stolen right out from under the store staff. Today, I checked out the Wagyu in Elmvale and there were still steaks but they were being sold for ten bucks each instead of nearly sixty bucks. Just thought you'd like to know. :) I walked into our Loblaws this week and there it was, as promised in the flyer, a cartload of Wagyu beef steaks  with a side of  Chiliean sea bass. The steaks were nice enough, meaty, with veins of fat running through them and the fish, well, the fish was beautiful, pristine, white like a Caribbean beach. Wonderful. The price, however, not so much. Each steak was selling for $59. The sea bass, which I only know about because it'...

#181897456 / gettyimages.com Glass is half full kind of Canadians should thank Mike Duffy for the investigative journalism he's undertaken which is revealing the depth of corruption and depravity within our system of government. For years now, Old Duff has been toiling on your behalf, posing as a political Senator, to unearth how many ways it's possible to screw the Canadian taxpayer. At times, he's even revealed that it's possible to do double duty, fingering the front orifice of Josephine Lunch Pail while putting a digit in the back end of Jimmy Conservative. Indeed, he should win himself a Michener Award, or a Genie at the very least. Do they still give those out for enterprise journalism? Seriously, folks, everyone who lives in Ottawa knows the system stinks -- especially Senate operations. We've had major evidence of this for years. Like the Senator who spent all his time in Mexico instead of warming his seat in the Red Chamber. How long did i...

For two years, Scott has been telling me that Finnigan, our Black Lab, would settle down...eventually. At that point, all of my dreams would come true. There would be no more menacing guests and crawling all over them, no more punching me in the face or ripping me a new butt hole when I turned my back on him. No more of that high peeled, incessant barking when he wanted out, or simply demanded attention. No more dropping saliva-coated twigs on my leg while he shook nervously. Sometimes, Finn has been hard to love, especially during the times he's put me in real danger, like that time at the dog park when he nearly knocked out my front teeth when he hit me in the face whilst running full boar. I had two black labs before Finn. Mandy died after eating an entire bowl of oatmeal chocolate chip muffins the babysitter had left out. Maggie was given to my friend Derik after many failed attempts at training and one scary event in the dog park when she pinned me on the grass with ...

#455439689 / gettyimages.com I was thinking this week that the councilors who run this city should simply go down the road to the Rideau Carleton Slots and pour all our money into the machines. At least they'd have a chance of winning. Anyway, it would be more fun than sinking it into a ridiculous garbage deal. As taxpayers, we pay a lot of money to our city manager. The man makes nearly $350,000 a year to be smart, or at least accountable. That's more than twice as much as the mayor. So how does he have the nerve to sit there and tell Ottawa City Council that it's not his fault that our tax money is being dumped into a sinkhole called Orgaworld, an organic waste collecting service that doesn't take most of the household waste we produce. We pay millions to this company to take away our potato peelings, but not our diapers, lawn trimmings or dog shit (which is a natural composter). It doesn't take that stuff because it's too stinky. We have to put...