Those of you who are forced to "social distance" will be happy to know that it will get better. The children will eventually grow up and move into their own cocoons. The pets will die, and your husband will leave you after listening to you beak at him for 18 months. Then you will have peace, real peace. No more fighting over the remote. You will be able to eat everything you want and not care if you can no longer see your feet in the shower. And Trump will be gone, so you'll have that. He will have succumbed to his Adderall addiction, syphilis, or the chemicals in his spray-on tan. Trust me when I tell you that. I have never lied to you. In the meantime, I am here to keep your spirits up. You see, I know how to socially distance. I have been in social isolation since 1984. Today's assignment is called the Cupboard Challenge. ™ It will involve having a look in your pantry and your freezer, then making a plan to either ...
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