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Jessie Stokes: A domestic abuse survivor's story

Sometimes, I am in awe of the women in my family. I think about the sacrifices made by my grandmothers and aunts, and the strength and grace of my cousins who often stare down adversity. 

I come from a family of widows. My grandmother Ina Crown mourned her first husband who died during WWI. My mother Vera buried her own soldier husband, my father Russ, after he died as a result of PTSD at only 34. As a little girl, I watched the women close to me struggle, and cry when they thought I wasn't looking. I was always looking, and learning. 

I still am. 

Against all odds, they soldiered on. They were Steel Maples, standing tall against every storm. 

In my own generation, I have marveled at the sacrifices made by my cousins to raise whole families on their own, and to deal with many mental and physical health challenges, and I am humbled watching Ashley's family endure the loss of their lovely girl whose only fault was picking the wrong guy.

We've all been there. The Simpson women are not invincible, but we are warriors. We are not super women but we are strong enough to get through the unimaginable. Divorce, loss, single motherhood, addiction, depression, even suicide attempts.

Today, I honor my cousin Jessie Stokes, who is a survivor in all possible ways. At a young age, she raised a daughter on her own, and is now bringing up two young boys while pursuing a career in social work. It's been a rough road for Jessie, who like Ashley, was a victim of extreme violence at the hands of her partner. Yesterday, she was celebrated by the 2nd annual Champions of Change in British Columbia. She received an award as the Brave Survivor of Violence, an individual showing resiliency, strength and dignity in the face of high risk violence.

I am including a video of the virtual ceremony which includes a moving address by Jessie herself who proudly came out of the shadows to tell her story. In it, she talks about her struggles, and her path to a better life. She also explains that she wouldn't be here today if it were not for the police officers, therapists and social workers who supported her in her journey.

Today, she is using her skills and training to help women who struggle with addiction. She hopes one day to work with other victims of violence, and share her first hand experience with them. The world needs a lot more Jessies the been-there-done-that women who can gauge when silence masks fear, and when a plea for help is to not ask for help at all.

It's hard to watch this video, and it may trigger some women, but I urge every woman to share it with women they know who are at risk.

Get up. Get out. Tell somebody. And always have a plan. 

Congrats, Jessie. 

You've made us all proud!


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