Fembots for Hillary Clinton

A few fembots in America have their knickers in a twist over the fact that most young women would rather vote for Larry David than Hillary Clinton.

They believe that young women are setting back the feminist cause because they don't seem to care about the historic fact that Hillary could become the first female U.S. president. I call her Hillary, by the way, not to confuse her with her multicultural husband, Bill (Roman hands and Russian fingers) who used to be president but now hovers behind his wife in the background, looking more and more like the old stand-up comic, the guy you remember who always had the corny jokes and played Sullivan. Now he's opening for Louis C.K.

The old fembots -- you know who they are, one looks like your grandma, the other looks like she's grandpa's mistress -- are saying that women are flocking to Larry David, I mean, Bernie Sanders, because that's where all the hot guys are working. That may be true. Guys are genetically engineered to go where the winners are.

In any case, Hillary is sliding into her usual abyss while the rest of the left-leaning folks are "feeling the Bern." Oooh, now that does sound hot.

Somebody, I forget who, yesterday said that young women don't understand the struggle to the top. They weren't around during Roe vs Wade, so they lack the perspective from the trenches. God help me, it sounds like the fembots have become old veterans sitting around the tavern talking about getting trench mouth.

Speaking for myself, and myself only, all I can say is that I remember Roe vs Wade. I also remember Margaret Thatcher who was famously Prime Minister of Britain and galpal to Ronnie and Nancy. Thatcher proved that snatching victory from the jaws of defeat means using every ruthless tactic possible to meet her ends. Just because she wore granny panties and 18-hours didn't mean she had a heart.

Now Hillary is no Margaret Thatcher, nor is she Angela Merkel. Hillary is a pawn of the establishment who kept two sets of books during her time as Secretary of State. She is a rich and privileged white woman who wouldn't know a food stamp if she found it stuck to her ass. Of course, of course, she understands the plight of Latino and African-American women in principal but she never had to turn to the kids and say, "Look honey, Dad is gone, but I got you a lovely pet...this cockroach."

The only thing Hillary Clinton has in common with a black woman is a $500 bill at the hairdresser.

Now, Bernie, he isn't a woman, either. And maybe he's not a feminist, but he is a humanist, and that's why young women like him. He doesn't see race, he doesn't see color, he doesn't see gender.

Bernie believes everybody should have a right to social services and an education, not just to some weird state sanctioned medicare which requires a person to have a PIN number and an email address. To Bernie, medicare is NOT just a website, it is a right.

The thing is, as women, we're far too intelligent to fall for the Hillary schtick. We saw what happened with the buying of a black president by the Oprah Winfrey glitterati. "You get a black president, you get a black president, you get a black president! Sorry, I forgot to mention there's a heavy debt to be paid to the IRS for winning that lottery!"

Obama was a big fat zero, as far as a lot of people were concerned. He has a chip on his shoulder. As my mother used to say,"He thinks he's Barack Obama."

He doesn't play well with others. He's a big cranky pants. He doesn't see his own reflection in the mirror.

Just because he's black doesn't mean he's made a better or worse president. Color, gender, sexual orientation -- all the food groups -- have absolutely no influence on a person's ability to be president of the U.S., of Chrysler or of Yahoo! That's right, I said it.

Hillary is Bill Clinton without the charisma and with all the baggage. Sanders, like our own Justin Trudeau comes to the show beholden to no one: no obscenely funded political action committees and interest groups, no corporations, nobody. (American friends, Justin Trudeau fired all the old gang, including his own Senators! Now instead of eating in the hallowed halls of power, they're in the cafeteria comparing blood glucose levels.)

Justin is free to be, like you and me. And that's why people like him, here.

He is toxin-free.

Women like Bernie because he's NOT Hillary Clinton. They like him because he's not part of some sort of privileged system that believes that power belongs in a family pact. Clinton. Bush. Clinton. Bush. Refresh. Whitewash. Repeat.

Politics -- even in our own country -- has become like network television, with spinoff after spinoff, one Kardashian reality show after another. The spoils to Ryan Seacrest.

Surely, more than two or three families have offspring who are qualified to run the nation.

And here's another thing that smart people know. It's not the Big Giant Head of Hair that counts.

It's the people who lacquer that head who run things. Back to my television analogy, the person who is in charge is Tina Fey, not Tracey Morgan.

Hillary had more influence as Secretary of State than she ever will have as president especially with Bill around. Just because you have a new bandleader doesn't mean the band has changed.

If Bernie does get elected, God Bless America, I'm confident he will fill up his Cabinet with a mix of talent from all areas of society, and from all genders. He's a class act, not just class president. He has excellent values, not just an excellent portfolio.

So fembots, get over yourselves.

This is 2016, for Christ's sake.


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