Sunday, 22 February 2015

Kathleen Wynne, Justin Trudeau and the thrusted penis of power

I nearly wept this morning reading Robin Sears' scathing analysis of the current state of politics in Ottawa and Ontario. Sears used two examples to demonstrate why voters, old and young, are so cynical.

Example A: Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne's chief of staff is fingered by the province's Chief Electoral Officer for trying to bribe a hard working Liberal to stop him from running against the preferred candidate. (Criminal charges pending.) Example B: The well-coiffed son of a former revered prime minister accepts sloppy seconds from the Prime Minister. Mucho gusto!

As a voter, I'm loving it. I find day-to-day politics exceedingly boring, and I frankly don't care where John Baird hangs his hat.

I'm here for the dirty stuff.

Ontario never, ever, disappoints. And we have David Peterson to thank for all of it. Peterson is the Canadian version of Kevin Bacon. All the shenanigans -- and people -- can be all tied back to Peterson, even Robin Sears who once toiled for Peterson as his man in Hong Kong.

We have Peterson to thank for some of the great scandals and bungles.  Ontario Place, Fridge-gate, Patti Starr. And now he's given Kathleen Wynne the greatest gift of all: Pat Sorbara.

Pat Sorbara once toiled in the office of Shelly's husband. She ate bear paw with the Chinese. She organized and whispered in the backrooms with the best of the good old boys. Now she's taken everything she learned at Peterson's knee and smeared it all over Kathleen Wynne like cream cheese on a lox bagel.

It's what happens, you know, in politics. Some people leave and grow consciences and make money, like Robin.  Other people can't seem to manage it in the private sector. So they hang around and begin to smell bad. After a time, like many old pros, they begin to develop political amnesia. They might have read the rule book back in the 80s, but it's soon been forgotten amidst the thrill of using the thrusted penis of power.

Given Wynne's trouble, Justin Trudeau might prove to be a genius after all.

He may have been right to turf all and sundry political veterans from his team. Names like David Smith, Gordon Ashworth, Terry Mercer have all been scrubbed from the walls at Liberal Party HQ. The good news is that Trudeau's team may be political dementia-free but the bad news is that it leaves a vacuum on the team which needs to be filled by someone. So I guess that explains why Eve Adams, is to Trudeau at least, seen as a good catch. She has absolutely no links to Liberals whatsoever, so she is perfect for his new-fangled team: devoid of any loyalty whatsoever, willing to use her Jimmy Choos' to step on anyone to do his dirty work, certain to spill the guts of Stephen Harper all over the floor.

Trudeau may, indeed, be offering Kathleen Wynne a solution to her current dilemma. She will be looking for people to fill in the blanks of her office when she has to turf David Peterson's sloppy seconds. And there are plenty of federal Liberals out of jobs thanks to Justin. And old Liberals have to work somewhere, right?

Perhaps this is all some grand Liberal strategy, wherein the Liberals take a page out of the playbook of, say, Twin Peaks or the X-Files. Hmmmm, maybe the Twilight Zone.

In the meantime, we lovers of As the Political Stomach Churns, can't wait to see what will happen next.



  1. Brilliant! You are just lovin' this aren't you?

  2. Yabetcha! Guess who also worked for Peterson and Trudeau. DG!!!