Monday, 29 December 2014

Canada 2014: The Year of the Bad Boy

While other nations were celebrating their achievements in 2014, Canada was being mocked as a country of drunkards, rapists and yahoos.

Rob Ford

Was it so long ago that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford was being snapped on the Danforth, speaking in Jamaican patois, wobbling in his sister's basement threatening to punch the lights out of top coppers and smokin' the peace pipe with thugs?

Even though he has garnered sympathy for having a tumor, the size of a grapefruit, Rob Ford stands alone as a beacon of ridicule. He may be gone, but it will be centuries before Toronto lives him down.

Justin Bieber

The pride of Stratford, Ontario, young Biebs has been following in the footsteps of other great Canadians, like Kiefer Sutherland, by spending more time on the police blotter than in the public eye. Drunk, high, belligerent, the Biebs has been our number one export for bad news, getting such a bad rap that Americans actually started a petition to have him sent back.

No, thanks, America. He's yours.

Jian Ghomeshi

What is left to be said about the former host of CBC Radio's Q and serial abuser, L'il Jian Ghomeshi, known now at "The Persian Predator".

Once the darling of the fashion and film set in Toronto, Jian has become the stinky kid in the playground, and is now spinning his old Moxie Fruvous records in his mom's basement.

Really puts a kink in his love life having to bring girls back to the 'burbs. To ensure he is well behaved his mom leaves the girls a baseball bat in the powder room.

Ma! The meatloaf!

Seth Rogen

He's the lovable schlub from Vancouver who brought tasty new phrases to the vernacular of pubescent stoners everywhere. Now he and his sidekick James Franco are responsible for the near takedown of Sony Corporation by hackers because he decided to make a faux-snuffie about taking out the leader of North Korea. Well done, sir!

We wouldn't care about boring and racist emails that have been made public, but dude! You are responsible for hackers taking down the Sony Playstation website for the entire Christmas vacatio

Oh, well, Seth is laughing all the way to the bank.

You're welcome, America!

Dumb Sun Reporter (nobody needs to remember his name)

Finally, an honorable mention to the intern from Sun Media who nearly go into a fist fight with Anderson Cooper who was up here in Canada to cover the shooting of Corporal Nathan Cirillo. The kid asked Anderson for a selfie, and the White Lion turned on him and asked what kind of news organization would hire someone who had no respect for a fallen soldier. What organization indeed?


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