Justice Minister Peter MacKay recently un-earthed a storm a la merde for apparently suggesting that women are too busy lactating to want a top spot on the bench, preferring kitchen drudgery to judgery.
He denied he said it; and referred to the lawyers. who outed him, by their given names: liars.
Then he sent out Mother's Day and Father's Day messages to his staff that were misogynistic in nature. Then he denied having written them and blamed them on a female staffer.
Apparently, in the Justice Department, the Chief Liar doesn't lawyer his own correspondence.
Then the Globe and Mail's Leah MacLaren took a swipe at Pete's wife, who sent back a missive to the Globe's self-described, but not actually appointed, London correspondent telling her to stop being mean to the Chief Liar who was raised by a single mom and does, in fact, do diaper doodie.
It was all very laughable, breaking up a monotonous week for the rest of us who have had to endure the endless debate about pipelines, ancestral rights and the environment.
You know it's a bad week on Parliament Hill when you can't wait for Liz May to speak.
It's nice to see all the fembots being outraged at what Pete -- who was forever named the Sexiest MP Alive by the Hill Times -- really thinks about women. None of us who toil in this city are surprised by the revelations because he'd had the reputation of being a very busy stickman on the Hill before he hung up his official condom and gave his balls to one woman permanently.
He is the Jerk of Hearts, leaving disappointed women everywhere crying in their Poise pads.
Now, the ladies have turned on him.
They accuse him of being sexist and old-fashioned. They say: "Fire his ass. The government should not have a Justice Minister who thinks that all women should be pregnant in the kitchen."
In fact, they have totally misunderstood Peter.
He has simply moved on to a new phase in his life.
Women are no longer objects of his affection.
They are vessels for his spawn.
Yeah, we get it, Peter.
Sure, as a politician, Peter shouldn't say such things, but he shouldn't also let his mates circulate pictures of him like this.
Peter reminds me of my brother Bob, who is a businessman in Toronto. Bob is a good brother, a determined jockstrap and terrific father, but he has a tendency to put his foot in it, like the time he asked me if I was a lesbian because I hadn't immediately started dating after my husband decamped my life for another woman's vagina.
Lesbianism isn't a life choice, Bob!
I just put it down to him being an ass, and left it at that.
Peter MacKay's like that. Sometimes the mouth starts going before the bowels kick in.
It's kinda why he is no longer Minister of National Defence. Nobody wants a guy driving the submarine who torpedoes his own vessel.
He is the human equivalent of Friendly Fire.
I think we should just all take a breath, let everybody calm themselves.
He says he didn't say it, and didn't mean it.
It wasn't his fault.
Of course, nobody believes him.
Nobody's every believed him when he said he pulled out.
He's merely a type, an athletic supporter who needs a strap on his face as well as on his balls.
He's just an asshole, his father's son.
He comes by it honestly.
Now let's move on, shall we?