Saturday, 7 December 2013

Mother of the Bride: I need a new face!

In a couple of weeks, I'm giving Marissa her first great wedding present.
I know, I know, she's getting married a year from now. Why such an early present?
Well kids, she hinted that she was going to start tanning to get ready for her big day which will be in January 2015. I don't want her to do that.
She's already had a mole removed as a precaution against skin cancer, and she's so fair that she's high risk for the stuff. But I see her point. She's marrying Jeff, a black man, and she doesn't want to have the flash bounce off of her during the wedding photos.
So as my gift to Marissa, we are visiting my old friend Dr. Greg Antoniak at the Facial Surgery and Cosmetic Centre on Riverside Drive to get a mother and daughter one-year makeover and skin strategy to make the two of us look our best on Marissa's big day. I'll be bringing you updates on our progress.
I had the Visia Complexion Analysis done a few years ago -- note the hair -- and it gave me a view from underneath the skin of just how badly I've treated myself over the years.
Back when I was a kid, I was paler than an ale just like Marissa and always wanted that lovely dark tan that Farrah Fawcett sported, so my aunt advised me to use baby oil. I did that but always burned. It wasn't until I got my first really bad burn that I started tanning, and tan I did over twenty years of playing tennis in the hot Ottawa summer sun.
Boy what an idiot.
Anyways, the Visia scared me silly so I've avoided the sun ever since.
As part of our regime, Marissa and I are going in to have the Visia done to see how much I've aged over the past three years and to show Marissa the damage that her wicked stepmother caused her when she used to throw her outside all day.
Dr. Antoniak is giving both of us a treatment plan and part of that plan will involve a non-intrusive bronzing strategy which will make us look like we're natives of the Dominican Republic.
Hah!
Hopefully, Marissa will be convinced to avoid the tanning beds and put those buggers out of business once and for all.

 

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