Saturday, 9 November 2013

Lulu Lemon Guy : You do look fat in that





The founder of Lulu Liz Lemon, Chip Wilson, got his Y fronts in a knot the other day for saying that it's not the fault of all the little poor kids who make his pants that women look terrible in them. Some women just look awful in his yoga togs.

It's true, he was committing the business equivalent of Harikari, but he does have a point.

Some, no most, women look terrible in them.

If you have a muffin top, a big ass, thunder thighs or general lumpiness, you should take your hard-earned hundred bucks and buy ten long Hello Kitty shirts and a fifteen pairs of leggings at Walmart.

I have news.

No one wants to see your cameltoe.

No one.

When I'm doing the downward dog -- which never happens by the way -- I don't want to look up and see your double wide ass looking back at me. It's bad enough that I get that view from the rowing machine.

Ill fitting clothing on men and women should be banned from the gym. I saw a guy today in men's yoga pants and he looked like he'd stuff low hanging fruit in his pocket.

Ewe.

Now before all you Lulu Liz Lemons take a contract out on me, I will remind you that I am a hefty bag myself. I have big boobs, a muffin top and a fat ass, even though I go the gymnasty and sometimes work out with a personal strainer. It's how I'm built.

I don't look like my former colleague Erin who is a beautiful yogini who looks fabulous in Lulu Lemon. She works really hard at it. She's a vegan who favors the salad bar over the All You Can Eat Riblets at Swiss Chalet. She deserves to wear those kind of clothes.

I, and you, do not.

We swill beer and eat carcinogens.

So stop being offended by Chip Wilson.

He has a lot to deal with just with the name "Chip".

For God sake's listen to the man.

He's telling you what you need to hear.

Not like your lily-livered husband.

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