Pug loses ladyparts, owner loses mind

Sophie the pug had her ladyparts removed last week.
She looked so adorable when I picked her up with a little Halloween bandana tied around her neck.
"Ah," came the collective sigh from the waiting room.
"Now, make sure she wears her collar and keep her quiet," the vet tech told us. "We don't want her to rip her stitches."
I nearly choked on the complimentary dog biscuit I was consuming.
"Really? How long do we have to keep her quiet?" I asked.
"At least a week."

I just came back from taking Scott to work and found Sophie up on the kitchen table. She had knocked down a tray of little applesauce containers and she was busily hoovering up all the dog treats.
As I was answering a few emails she was tearing up the carpet and wrestling with a number of items, including underwear that she had dragged out of the bedroom. Then she jumped on Finnigan and began to gnaw on his ear. Then she humped Gordie under the table.
This has been going on since Tuesday when we brought that cute nugget home from the vet.
It is impossible to keep a good pug down, stitches or no.
We couldn't use the vet collar because Finnigan kept dragging Sophie around the living room with it so we prayed that she wouldn't lick her wound. Turns out she was too busy wrecking my house to worry about her belly.
She doesn't seem to miss her ladyparts, not one bit.
I think I miss them more than she does.
Poor Finnigan is paying for all of this because he's been banished to the front hallway, all in an effort to keep Sophie "quiet".
I would give you photographic evidence except for the fact she's racing around so fast, I can't catch her in the frame. She comes out as just a blur, like a vampire's shadow.
As for me, I am totally exhausted. This morning, she woke me up sitting on my face and chomping on my nose.
You know that rumor about dogs getting fat and sluggish after they get fixed?
Could somebody please tell Sophie about it?


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