Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net (Suvro Datta)
My inner cobra is showing again.
She comes out and strikes when least expected.
Let me demonstrate.
Cobra: Why are you parking here? It's a handicapped spot!
Husband: There's nobody in the whole parking lot. Who cares?
Cobra: (looking around) Exactly! You have 200 odd parking spots in this mall and you're going to take this one. Move the car.
And so he does.
Husband: I took out a hundred dollars so you'd have money.
Cobra: Oh, thanks, hon. Do you want some money for lunch?
Husband: I already took it out of the hundred.
Cobra: Are you shorting me?
Every girl has a cobra that grows where her umbilical cord used to be. Its egg was planted there whilst we were arguing with God in the Garden of Eden.
The Baby Skylar has a tiny one. It's a nasty little thing that comes out when her parents try to get her to go to bed. She calls her little Cobra "no!".
As we age, the Cobra spends most of her time slumbering. That is, until it's PMS time. Then she arises from her sleep, raises her head and bites her husband, her boss or her coworkers.
As we approach middle age, the Cobra changes once again, but this time turns her attention inward and strikes her host causing a massive amount of bleeding, hot sweats and brain swelling. After the Cobra has a good feed, it starts to bloat, which explains middle aged weight gain.
After Menopause, the Cobra becomes, mostly, a docile creature.
Unless, of course, her husband tries to take a handicapped parking spot or short change her. Then she leisurely raises her majestic head and bites his off.
The circle of life is then complete.