Friday, 16 August 2013

Master of none

Yesterday, I got a rejection letter from Indigo indicating that the company had found a much better candidate for the role of "customer experience consultant". It means someone out there has a super-duper background in selling over-priced books to customers who could get the same books for half the price at Costco.

Still, the rejection hurt.

I've been trying fairly hard, for me, to find a low-level job that will help me pay my utility bills which almost cost as much as my rent. The utility creep has been going on for some time now. When I owned a house 20 years ago, a house that was much bigger than this one, my Hydro bill was $150. Today it's $700. And the God damned water bill is now $250!

Okay, okay. We have tenants who don't turn out the lights when they are supposed to. And we do a boatload of laundry every week, during the day.

But when we moved here, we still had the same number of people and the Hydro bill, I swear, was only $450. Most of the new charges are for debt reduction. I ask you: why should I pay for Hydro's debt? It fucking well infuriates me.

Anyway, I'm trying to spiff up my resume to make it more attractive to Walmart or Sears, or to anybody for that matter and I realize my problem is that I don't have a great resume. That's because most of my jobs have been absolutely ridiculous good-for-nothing jobs.

In my early years, I worked as an activities coordinator at a nursing home popping bingo balls and singing old songs to dementia patients. Then I was a fruit inspector. Then I was a journalist. Then the paper folded. Then I worked in politics -- which is an entirely useless occupation. Then the party in power got turfed out. Then I became a freelancer, which is best described as a Master of None.

Freelancing is one of those professions that requires expert knowledge on a variety of subjects. Over the years, I have learned a lot and can honestly say I have expert knowledge on the following subjects: psychiatry, audiology, human resources, change management, marketing, the environment, the economy, agriculture, railway and aircraft safety, photographic processes, motion picture technology, family practice management and end-of-life care.

Not to brag, but that's knowledge on a lot of shit.

Oh yes, and I'm a professional published author.

You see where I'm going with this?

None of this matters to the human resource dweebs at Indigo books.

They don't care that I could not only direct a customer to the finance section but I could actually carry on an intelligent conversation with her. Nor are they interested in supporting struggling writers like me.

It's frustrating.

Maybe I could get a job as a politician. I hear there might be a few vacancies coming up in the Senate.

1 comment:

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