5:30 a.m. Awake with a start realizing that you're on deadline in France. Hobble out of bed, let the dogs out, put the kettle on.
7:00: Four web stories written. Mission accomplished.
7:15: Push button to send invoice.
7:30: Off to gym. Then to Farmboy to pick up kale and carrots for juice.
8:00: Head ache. Back home to feed the dogs.
8:30: Peck the husband on the cheek. Send him off to sell cheap cars to sacked public servants with severance.
9:00: Check Facebook, Twitter, newspapers, look for fodder for the blog.
9:03: Score! Rob and Doug Ford. This shit literally writes itself.
9:15: Blog finished.
9:30: Juice and three egg omelette
10:00: Check email. Nemesis in France is fired because, to quote her words, "everybody hates her and thinks she's evil". Think to oneself: God has answered prayer. Send the Holy Spirit a high five.
10:05: Send condolences. Secretly hope she drops off the Eiffel Tower.
10:10: Note to newest boss. We will have a bright future together; here's how we do it!
10:30: Check the mail. No money. Check the bank account. No money transfers.
11:00: Count change for pilgrimmage for dog food.
11:30: Lunch! Juice and left over hamburger. :( Feeling passive aggressive.
Noon: Nap time.
2:00. Dr. Oz.
2:30: Ice cream!
3:00: Arrested Development marathon begins.
6:00 Dinner. Roast chicken. Bean salad.
6:15: Martini, five olives.
6:30: Arrested Development marathon continues.
11:00: Let out the hounds. Bedtime.
11:15: Dreams of Mike Duffy. Not pretty.
5:30 a.m. Start all over again.
Stunt freelance writer. Don't try this at home.