Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Anderson Cooper: Show some self-respect!

When Anderson Cooper finally decided to tell the world that he was gay, most of us shrugged and uttered a"meh" or "who cares?"
The reason was that his homosexuality was one of the worst kept secrets on the planet. There were pictures of Anderson all over the Internet taking romantic bike rides with a long time squeeze. The fact that Anderson's best friends were Andy Cohen, Kathy Griffin and Kelly Rippa -- the former a well-known outtie, the two latters renowned fag hags -- gave us even more clues.
For the most part, we were on Anderson's side.
It was a bit of a tricky move for Anderson. I mean, I can't imagine it going down well with the crusty old Morely Safer with whom he shared a chair on 60 Minutes. Not to mention the fallout which could occur when Anderson reported for CNN from one of the many ultra-macho hotspots around the globe where homosexuality is deemed an offence punishable by death.
Trouble is, since Anderson has become an outtie, he won't shut up about it.
Nearly every day on his soon to be cancelled chat show, Anderson leaps on one double entendre or another casually tossed out by one his female guest hosts, who are usually Real Housewives of Some City or one of the assorted magpies of the Osbourne variety. Then he waits for the obligatory standing O.
"I wouldn't know about that," he often giggles when hetero-sex topics come up. According to Anderson, he's never touched a boob, never gone south with a woman or anything else.
He also likes to talk about how much he hates girly manplay, how he rejects the idea of cross-dressing in favor of trips to the gym.
Clearly, on the slide rule of gayness, Anderson slides down the macho side.
Again, no worries.
Unfortunately, in recent months, the topic of his sexuality comes up far too often for is mostly female, mostly motherly daytime audience.
I forgive him, but frankly -- and I can only speak for myself - I'm getting rather tired of it.
On New Year's Eve, the whole issue reared its ugly head after his galpal Kathy Griffin decided to screech him in, as the Newfoundlanders say, by attempting over and over again to kiss his codpiece.
Even the most liberal-minded of us could not help but cringe as she went south while he giggled like a 12-year-old girl.
If this had happened to Ryan Seacrest on Rockin' New Years Eve, I would like to think the network would have cut to a commercial and sent Kathy Griffin home with a stern lawyer's letter.
But CNN is the home of Piers Morgan, so I guess the producers decided to keep the camera rolling.
What were the producers thinking by letting Griffin get away with the kind of lewd behavior that got Fred Willard arrested in a movie house?
It was New Year's and kids were watching for goodness sake.
Hey, Anderson. We know you're gay. We know you aren't into chicks.
Next year, do us a favor and eighty-six your little groupie.
Show some self respect.

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