Monday, 5 November 2012

A Donny and Marie Christmas at the White House

I'm avoiding American television today.
And tomorrow.
Maybe forever.
Like that little crying girl on Youtube, I am sick of Branco Bama and Mitt Romney.
Also, Bill Maher. And Bill O'Reilly.
Certainly, the ladies of The View.
I told Scott the other day that if the Republicans win, I'll have to avoid The View Forever.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck will be even more insufferable than she is now.
It's occurred to me that every time the Republicans win, it's like a dream sequence in which the nerds from the Big Bang Theory take over the high school from the cool kids.
Or maybe the high school surrenders to The Shark Tank.
And it just might happen, ladies and germs.
Get your health care while you still can.
Harvest those crops where the Canada Pipeline is going to be.
And you, on the East Coast, prepare to wait for help from the PRIVATE SECTOR.
FEMA will be a Democratic wet dream.
It's looking suspiciously likely that the 'Pubs may take the Great States United.
That's because Congress passed a law stating that everyone who votes must have photo identification.
A lot of po' folks don't drive, and therefore have found themselves ineligible.
The cruel hand of the right has come crashing down on the multitudes of Obama supporters living in the projects. George Clooney may have to move to Italy permanently.
If the 'Pubs win, just imagine the White House. No more Jay Z and Beyonce. Nor more Streisand and Oprah.
If Mitt Romney wins, it'll be a Donny and Marie Osmond Christmas at the White House, featuring the Morman Choir...Tabernacle.
With cake and Kool Aid.
And that's enough to make anyone cry.

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