Friday, 12 October 2012

Rhea and Danny: High five on your divorce


I saw my cousin and her husband yesterday, and she's never looked happier.
Pat and Don are attached at the hip. They go everywhere together, and do everything.
It's hard to believe this is the same long suffering woman who put up with my biological cousin for decades, only to throw in the towel in her 50s. That must have been a scary time for her looking towards old age without a partner, living in an empty nest, with a precarious retirement ahead of her. I was so thrilled when she partnered up with Don as she neared 60.
When my husband left me in my 30s, I had three small kids and I was absolutely terrified. I spent 10 years raising my kids on my own and I learned to be self-reliant. I grew during those 10 years, learned to unclog the sink and fix the toilet when it over-flowed. I became fairly well adept at putting together kids' toys and Ikea furniture.
But I have to admit that I was happy, grateful, relieved even, to meet Scott nearly a decade ago. Like Don and Pat, Scott and I do everything together. As I look back now, I realize that the divorce was actually a blessing.
Mr. Big was 10 years old than me, and now he would be 66 years old. He has a bad ticker, wobbly legs and an old man's ass. I am so glad I won't have to diaper him.
Scott and I are exactly the same age -- give a month or two -- and we get each other. Unless the gods play a nasty trick on us, we should be good to go for another three decades. At least.
I raise this issue on the heels of the divorce of Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito who were together for 30 years. A lot of people were shocked that the two were parting ways. Not me.
Why should people be expected to stay together into their dotage if they grew apart?
Like most of us approaching or early into our senior years, they've recognized that they could be around for a couple more decades. Or they might not be around at all.
In either case, why not go out on a high note? Find someone you dig who digs you back.
My friend Jennette's dad is 86 years old and he found love five years ago after his wife died. He and Lois are inseparable. That's what's kept Jim alive through cancer and now heart disease.
A little grab, twist and squeeze.
A kiss like you mean it.
Or just a hug around the neck.
As human beings, we're living longer; so why shouldn't we be living better?
Instead of handing out the hankies, we should applaud couples who divorce in later years.
High five them on the street. Celebrate their courage.
So let's hear it for Rhea and Trollfoot.
For every tiny perfect heart, there's a matching soul -- even if it is a bit battered.
 

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