I've always wanted to be famous.
I've never been any of these, but I wanted to know what it was like.
So I paid a paparazzo to stalk me and take naked pictures of me blogging.
I was hoping this would improve my numbers. And let's face it, I'm not getting any younger or prettier.
Actually, my husband Scott took this photo looking through our backgarden.
The neighbors were too busy swapping spit or smoking crack to notice.
I sit in this window, like Rapunzel, sometimes letting my hair flow through the air vent at odd times of the night. Sometimes I'm naked, sometimes I'm not.
But I figure if anybody with a long lens wants to take pictures of me and post them on the Internet, have at 'er. I'm not like Catherine, I keep my nips heavily guarded behind my laptop.
Oh yes, and I've decided to issue a challenge to my fellow bloggers.
Jenny Lawson, Rosie O'Donnell, Ellen and Oprah. You know who you are!
Come join me in uncovering the naked truth.
Maybe we can raise some money or awareness for charity.
Post a naked picture of you blogging.
You'll feel awesome, and light of spirit.
Let the nude set you free.