According to today's Globe and Mail, the Royal Family is suing the French magazine Closer and trying to get an injunction to stop the resale of topless images of Kate Middleton.
All weekend, the press releases were flying: threatening, cajoling, pleading with the French to stop the madness of showing the Royal Teets.
Closer's response? Vee fart in your general direction.
Ah hem.
Okay, it's time for a reality check.
If the Palace doesn't want Kate getting photographed for striking the pose, perhaps Kate should consider not striking the pose within eyeshot of a public road.
It's not like she's an ingenue who doesn't know any better.
Kate Middleton lobbied for the job of the future Queen of England. She wasn't Princess Diana, an 18-year-old child. She was nearly thirty before she took on the job.
She should know better, and so should her sister Pippa.
I don't know about you, but I rarely have been seen parading about topless or nude for that matter. UV rays have never touched the skin from my shoulder blade to my belly button. Well, there was that time in Negril, but again, I was barely out of high school and I was suntanning on a nude beach.
And I was not in line to be the Queen of England.
Like most young rich and famous people, the Royals like to take their tops and knickers off on yachts and balconies and show the birds and the bees their blessed equipment. Usually, there are other yachts around when they're mamms up. And, as Closer's management suggested, her Royal Teets could be seen from a public road.
Look, I'm not excusing the paps who are the scum on which flies feed.
But it's not like the Royals don't know they're around every corner.
Word, Kate.
Let them fly in the privacy of your boudoir.
Wave your hand on a balcony not the family assets.
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