Saturday, 29 September 2012

Blog off, Lovelace

I was recently Facebooking about the fact my son, Nick, finally got his G licence and a job so he can start paying rent. The post ended with me saying that all seemed to be right with the world.

Then I got blindsided by a model train loving, crankypants senior who was lurking in the weeds, ready to bounce. Someone asked the question: will your son be getting a car? Before I could answer, I saw this posting.

Gord Lovelace:  If your son bought a car, it would be like a self-professed poor person publicizing efforts to repair effete Italian coffee machines and imported furniture that millionaires like me could never afford.

Well, well. The glove has been thrown down. He has been at me in the past few weeks over the fact that, while my family may be fiscally challenged, I continue to spend my money repairing  luxury items such as a Starbucks barista machine (gift from my son) and an Ekornes chair (which I won in the divorce settlement).

Gord then blorges on about how his frugality has made him a millionaire.

Just like John Furlong, Gord Lovelace takes liberty with the facts.

For example, he says, he is a frugal traveller, never having once set foot outside Canada. That may be, but he fails to mention that he owns a fly-in fishing camp. Even Martin Short doesn't have a fly-in camp!

He says he can't afford luxury items like me, and yet, and yet GORD LOVELACE was recently caught bragging about renovating his pile in New Edinburgh -- the cheap seats beside Rockcliffe. Oh yes, and did he mention his million dollar train collecting hobby?

Or his collection of vintage beer bottle caps?

No, he did not.

Gord Lovelace is not a millionaire because he fails to buy nice things. Gord Lovelace is a millionaire because he is married to Barb Lovelace who makes him take all his meals at home and gives him a $11,000 a year allowance for beer and cigarettes. She also forces him to take the bus.

Barb Lovelace is the frugal one. Gord, in fact, is impetus and money squandering.

Here's one recent example.

Barb told him to sell his amp for a guitar which he stopped playing eons ago. (We all thank her.)

Our good friend Dave Milliken, feeling sorry for the old fellar, offered to pay 50 bucks for that amp which we all thought was a very good price. And Millie has a band, so he has good use for that amp.

What does Gord do? A guy offers to buy the amp at a garage sale for $55 and Gord sells it for $50 and a quarter just to undermine Milliken. I wonder what Barb was doing that day. She would have sold that damned amp to Milliken but would have forced him to pay $75. Why? Because she's a financial genius.

Nowhere in Lovelace's playbook does he mention that he's a star because he's got a good coach.

There, I said it.

Now, blog off Lovelace! 

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