Monday, 20 August 2012

Breast Cancer Screening: The Old Turkeygram

Looking down at the extra large slab of meat, I couldn't help but think of Costco's famous turkey breasts. So large, you could feed sandwiches to your family for a week.

There it was, squished between two glass plates all white and pink. Ready for the roaster.

It was so big, the technician had to take an extra set of x-rays because it wouldn't all fit on the screen. Couldn't quite get the bottom and the nipple in.

I'm wasn't embarrassed in any way. I felt like a dispassionate observer. The pair of them didn't look like something that should be attached to a person, exactly. A gobbler, maybe.

All in all, my mammogram at the Riverside Hospital's breast screening program was a snap, though I had to prepare myself. Before I went for my appointment, I methodically used by gigantic massager and dug it into the tissue under my shoulder blade. Then I swallowed a couple of Motrin and had a hot shower. By the time I reached radiology, I could have participated a game of slo-pitch.

Right now, I'm feeling a little sore in that general area, but not too bad.

The technician showed me my x-rays. Nice, I thought. They looked much better than the slab of turkey under the clear glass.

I didn't see anything unusual, and she thought the little lump I found just under the skin was a eruption of some kind.

But you never know.

Glad I went, one way or another.

Takes a load off.

Got me thinking if the end of the world was near, and the supermarkets were depleted, I could always eat myself with some nice carrots and pan gravy. :)

Always the optimist.

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