The Calgary Stampede is celebrating its 100th year torturing animals.
My hearty congratulations on a job well done.
It wouldn't be the Stampede if at least a couple horses didn't meet their maker whilst travelling at breakneck speeds in front of a sea of silver beltbuckled potbellies. It just wouldn't be the same if cute little calves weren't running for their lives only to be hog-tied and then hoisted up by their feet in a show of macho cowboy hubris.
That wouldn't be the Calgary Stampede, no sir.
That would be a petting zoo.
Seriously, why do people buy tickets to this stuff? How is injuring innocent horses and babies the sport of Canadians? Oh wait, we have the seal hunt.
And reserves where we park our First Nations and let little kiddies kill themselves because of boredom.
This country presents well, doesn't it?
We have Celine Dion and Justin Bieber that we export.
But for the real fun, every summer here in Canada, people become feral cats who enjoy batting around critters and watching them shed their entrails. Hannibal Lecter has nothing on the Stampede.
I was reading today that the Stampede fossils are defending the chuckwagon race saying were it not for this wonderful summertime ritual, these beautiful animals would be sent to the glue factory. I don't know about you, but I think a quick shot to the head would be a more preferable death than being trampled by your colleagues whilst a large vehicle drops on your head.
You know what galls me? A movie company would incur hefty fines and criminal charges if one single hair is harmed on a dog or a cat. Hence the statement, No Animals Were Harmed in the Making of this Movie.
And yet our country allows cowboys to seriously torture and maim animals every single day at the Stampede.
I don't get it.
It's time that this nonsense ended once and for all. Stop taking your kids to horse massacres.
You might as well take them on a tour of an animal drug testing facility. Or an abattoir.
Our own Prime Minister stands up and calls Calgary the greatest city on Earth.
Says a lot about him.
I say the Calgary Stampede deserves an international smackdown.
Who's with me?