Sunday, 27 May 2012

Tonight we are oinkers; tomorrow we diet

My dearest Harley:

Scott and I just finished our grocery shop for your Swimsuit Ready in 20 Days diet, as promoted on The Revolution.  We managed to deftly avoid the bread and meat aisles and realized what a bargoon this diet really is.

Not counting the toilet paper and paper towels, our whole week's groceries came to less than a hundred bucks and that includes frozen fruit, Greek yogurt and four kinds of tofu. It doesn't count the cheesecake I will be gorging on tonight, nor did we five factor in the margaritas, wine and cheesecake we will be enjoying as part of what I like to think of as Our Last Supper tonight.

I saw a movie last night about death row and last meals. That's the sort of mentality I'm trying to avoid as I set off on my journey to see my belly button again. But I can't help thinking about what I'd like for my last meal. Hot dogs and poutine, I'm guessing.

Definitely not tofu and chia seeds.

That mentality -- and the booze -- are what go us to this place, where we look more like Shrek and supersized Fiona than Halle Berry and Daniel Craig.

Tonight we will have a good feed of paella and garlic bread.

Tomorrow we will diet, oh yes, we will.

Question: where on Earth do you get canned spinach? We went to three stores and nobody had ever heard of canned spinach. It must be an American thing.  Or a Popeye thing.

We also couldn't find that Hidden Valley salad dressing which is on the list. Otherwise, the grocery purchase was a complete success.

I've got the blender sitting on the kitchen counter just waiting for all the soups, dips and smoothies we will be concocting on the first week. I've never spent a week on a liquid "blenderized" diet before unless you count that week in Jamaica when all we drank was rum.

It's only five days with no real food. How bad can it be? I've my fingers crossed I won't be eyeing Finnigan's puppy chow.

Well, that's it for now. Wish us luck. Can't wait to see my toes again.

Your friend, Rosalita.

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