Sunday, 1 April 2012

Harper Resigns: Trudeau to form government



In a stunning development last night, Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced he was stepping down as prime minister and voluntarily handing the reins of power to the most deserving candidate.

Governor-General David Johnston met with Justin Trudeau last night at Government House to formally swear in the first son of former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau.

Thomas Mulcair expressed shock and awe.

"Frankly, I'm shocked and in awe," said the NDP leader who has yet to pick up the keys to Stornoway, the official residence of the leader of the opposition. "I can't believe it. I've wasted all this time so that snot nosed little entitled bastard could just swan in."

Bob Rae, the interim Liberal leader was seen weeping in the Railway Committee whispering "no, no, it can't be so" and being comforted by his long-suffering wife, Arlene.

Reached at his art deco apartment in Ottawa, Trudeau appeared jubilant and self-satisfied, his usual demeanor. Earlier in the evening, Trudeau declared victory over the First Nations following the pummeling of Senator Patrick Brazeau, who was humiliated while wearing a pair of budgie smugglers.

A source close to the outgoing prime minister said Trudeau paid him a visit following the match still wearing his red boxing gloves and cape. RCMP reported seeing Harper cowering in the corner, after Trudeau locked Laureen Harper, her children and her female bodyguard in the smelly cat room the Harper's keep for their 600 cats.

Trudeau said his first act as prime minister will be to shave the head of Brazeau and abolish the Senate.

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