Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Embracing my inner glamorpuss
Nick came up from the basement clutching a maroon cardigan, my beloved maroon cardigan, which had disappeared during one of the many moves over the past year.
"Is this yours?"
"I've been looking for that all winter," I said.
"Figured," he sniffed. "Neither of us own anything from the 1980s."
I shook my head. Silly boy. I bought that sweater in 1992.
It is the sad story of my plunge into middle age, and the cardigan is a symbol of my fashion decline. I still have clothes -- I still wear clothes -- from the time the kids were not just young, but small.
I also have a closet full of clothes I covet but can no longer wear. There is the designer coat that harkens back to a visit to the Hotel Vancouver in 1985. God I love that coat.
There are the blouses I haven't fit into for a decade, the silks, the creams, the cottons; no way can I button them up. But I'm keeping them just in case.
Back in the day, I spent thousands of dollars on clothes and shoes and purses.
These days, I'm lucky if I spend a hundred dollars every two years on new bras.
Is it because I'm no longer the clothes horse I once was? Is it because I no longer have disposable income? Is it because my priorities have changed?
No. I think it's because I've given up.
Margaret Wente, in yesterday's Globe and Mail, lamented the fact that she no longer gets wolf whistles from guys, that she's become a ghost in her old age.
I think it's more than that. I don't care what I look like anymore.
I don't like to get dressed up. Don't like to go to the hairdresser. Would rather stay home in my yoga pants watching The Biggest Loser.
Saying this out loud makes me feel ashamed of myself.
I'm middle aged; I'm not dead.
It's time to shake off the cobwebs, trip the light fantastic, put on the ritz.
It's time to write a new vision and mission statement for myself.
Surrender the $14 hair dye in favor of one of those $200 streakfests.
Try color blocking.
So my goal this summer is to embrace my inner Tim Gunn.
How I'll accomplish this is anyone's guess.
Any suggestions are welcomed.