Skip to main content

The Bible for Sinners


Like many of my generation, I am ambivalent about organized religion.

That's because every time I've interacted with a church, it's turned into a horror show.

When I was six, I really, really, wanted to go to Sunday school like the rest of the kids in my class. My mother was against it, but agreed to drop me off at church every Sunday where I sat in my best second-hand Rose dress clutching my dollar for the collection plate. After church, she would be waiting in the car she bought for $50 which my grandfather had painted foam green.

I felt at once enveloped by the sense of community and ashamed because my own mother wouldn't take me to church. I believe this was the beginning of my feelings of being an outsider.

Years later, my mother told me that she didn't go to church because, after my father died, the church came to her expecting her to pay a tithe that she couldn't afford. Ironically, my mother is buried behind that church, along with my grandparents. I hope, once in a while, she gives Louth United Church the finger.

My other fond memory involved the Roman Catholic Church. Mr. Big was Catholic, so we decided to raise the children in his faith. Each child was dutifully baptized and attended Catholic public school.

When Big decamped for the vagina of the White Witch of Bermuda, I was sent a bill for $7,500 for tuition. It seems because I was a non-Catholic and I was listed on the property roll as such, I was required to pay extra for my kids to attend school.

I found this incredibly insensitive.

I hauled the kids out of there and sent them to public school to be with the great unwashed.

I haven't darkened the door of a church since.

I still talk to God once in a while especially when I find myself in shit up to my eyeballs. I bypass Jesus since I've always been a girl who likes to go right to the top. Nothing happens, but I feel better.

So here is my tribute to organized religion on this beautiful Good Friday.

Cheers J.C.

You're one forgiving dude.

Hope you like it.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ashley Simpson: Conversation with Derek Favell Revealed

  On April 2, 2017, a family friend of Ashley Simpson opened her Facebook Messenger and got the surprise of her life.  Cathy MacLeod had been trying to correspond with Ashley's boyfriend, Derek Favell, who was the last person to see the St. Catharines native before she disappeared from her home in Salmon Arm, B.C. a year before. She wanted to know more about what happened to Ashley, and why Favell had refused to take a polygraph test when many others close to the missing woman agreed to do so. "I wanted to poke the bear," she said, and sent several messages to Favell pleading with him to talk to her.  " Please help us," she wrote. "It's been 10 months of pure hell. A lie detector would help if you have nothing to hide. I beg of you, help us, take the test to clear your name if there’s nothing to hide." Many, including members of the Simpson family, found Derek's behaviour, at least, curious. Ashley had disappeared on April 27, 2016. Yet it took

Ashley Simpson: A Father Remembers

I have asked Ashley Simpson's family and friends to give us a glimpse into the life she lived before going missing nearly a month ago. Here is how her father John remembers his sweet girl. Ashley was a treat when she came into this world, a smashing 9lbs 8 ounces with a  head full of hair and nails that needed to be clipped. She has made many friends in her journey of life and continues to make them as we speak. She has made this world a better place by her love of mankind and this place we call Earth; unfortunately this life she has lived hasn't been the best for her. She has suffered through unbearable pain and suffering through her menstrual cycles. She has cysts on her ovaries that make those 10 days a living hell. She had one of her ovaries removed when she was just 14; the other they won't take out till she is 40 or older. Years of hell for my Ashley. I so feel her pain every month but she doesn't quit, doesn't give in.   That's my

What Bell isn't telling you about Fibe TV

Update: This week, we switched back to Rogers after spending far too long using Bell's crappy television service. For those with Bell, read and weep. For those considering Bell, think twice even if you hate Rogers. RS I've always been an early technology adapter. I had a Betamax. That tells you everything (if you're over 50 at least). My first computer was a "Portable". It weighed 40 pounds and I had to lug it around town on a gurney. I've been through probably 15 computers in my lifetime. Apple is the best. It's also too expensive so I have a piece of shit HP, the one I'm writing this blog on. I've had cable, internet and now Netflix. American Netflix . That's how far ahead of the curve I am. I get all the newspapers for free. How? I disabled my cookies so they can't track me when I'm on the newspaper sites. Even the New York Times hasn't cottoned on to that trick. Hahaha. That will be a fifty buck consulting fee. Bein