My newest guilty pleasure is a daytime show called The Revolution which features celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak and stylist Tim Gunn.
I like the show because it's different. It's not just a medical show or a chat show or a psychotherapy show.
I'm so damned tired of Kelly and Ellen. I'm starting to get really pissed at Dr. Oz. I mean how many vitamins can a body take in one day? And don't get me started on Dr. Feel with his folksy "I been doin' this a loooong time by the way buy my book".
I want something to perk me up in the middle of the afternoon, not put me to sleep.
The big feature of The Revolution involves a weight loss story. It's shot over five months and involves one "hero" who is trained and fed by Harley and dressed by Tim, then headshrunk by a doc named Tiffani and medically examined by a doc named Jen.
Somewhere in the middle is Ty Pennington, the Extreme Makeover: Home Edition bingocaller. I'm not quite sure why Ty is there though he did give me a great tip for ironing off water stains from my antique desk.
Anyway, the weight loss subject tells her own sad story of "putting everyone first" or having an addiction to Haagen Daaz ice cream. She sits down with Tim while still tubby and picks out an outfit she will wear after her five month journey. Last week's subject chose a white suit she bought five years ago. She admitted that she still hadn't taken off the tags because she couldn't smash her overlarge booty into it.
Ladies, can you relate?
By the end of month five is the big reveal, which always makes me cry.
Not because I'm moved by the story, just because I have that exact same pant suit and I still can't get into it!
So this weekend, I decided to take Harley up on his challenge and embark on his Five Factor weight loss program. It's pretty simple. Exercise 25 minutes five times a week (I already do this) and eat his meal plan which involves dishes that take no more than five minutes to put together or which have only five ingredients or both.
I decided to pick his World Diet because the meals come from countries with the healthiest, leanest populations. So you eat Japanese, Chinese, Italian, Greek and Spanish. It's sort of like being at the food court at the Canadian National Exhibition without the MSG and the candy corn.
The diet is pretty much what I'm eating now but he's given me a menu plan and exact food proportions and a balance of food groups. This is where I fall down. I eat well but I eat too much food especially at night. I'm also going to be eating five times a day, smaller portions.
If by the end of the five months, I am still exactly the same weight, I will dive into a bucket of Baskin-Robbins caramel pecan ice cream and chase it with a vat of draft beer.
But this diet seems reasonable, and I'm betting it's pretty effective.
White pant suit, I'm coming for ye.