Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Vodka are you there? It's me, Dalton

Now before all you folks get all up in Daltie's b'ness, try to look on the bright side.
Daltie is going to be increasing the number of liquor barns across the province. And upping the ante on gambling by trying to build lavish casinos to suck in more sheckles from bored seniors.
Daltie and Dwight are getting creative. They are looking for more sure fired ways to indirectly tax us all.
They want us to drink more. They want us to keep shoving hundreds in one-armed bandits. That will mean more money in the coffers of the government, which in turn will be used to battle the dastardly deficit.
And we will drink and gamble more by crackie.
In this little burg alone, there will be hundreds of civil servants who are going to be laid off by the Harper government. They will have lots of time -- and money -- on their hands and no jobs. So the logic goes, they will need outlets to spend, spend, spend. Why not spend those severance cheques right here in Ontario instead of in Florida?
Make the casinos within walking distance of all the suburbanites. Put one at the Bank. Put one out in Orleans. And when the gamblers come home, let them be able walk to the liquor store and get all tanked up.
It's pure bloody genius, that's why I'm saying.
It is true that this budget wasn't for everybody. I'm sure there are mounds of teachers, firefighters and nurses who are pissed off.
Who cares?
The government will just take a page from the Harperites and legislate them back to work.
I do pity the po' folk -- like the ones living in our basement --  who will not see an increase to their paltry welfare cheques anytime soon.
Again, Daltie's genius is at work.
They won't be able to drink or gamble.
Who cares? They shouldn't be drinking or gambling anyway!
Not on taxpayers' dollars, no sirree Bob.
Leave those vices for rich middle class who are paying their own way.
Keep the poor on the straight and narrow.
We must keep our priorities straight, Ontario.
We must fund full day kindergarten!

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