Sunday, 4 December 2011

Booty call



I had a truly Brigitte Jones moment at the gymnasty yesterday.

Just before my workout, I stepped on the scale for the first time in about a month and found myself weighing 219.5 pounds.

I could not believe my eyes.

I have been working out nearly every day since March as well as watching my diet and I have lost .5 pounds.

Half a friggin' pound.

Everyone finds this incredibly hard to believe -- even Scott who has been with me through the entire exercise. I have lost inches around my waist and hips -- that is a fact. I have even lost a little, just a little boob weight.

And yet, the scale doesn't lie.

How is this possible?

Indeed, my pants are no looser, in fact, truth be told, they are actually a bit tighter. I no longer have a muffin top; it's more like a fallen souffle where certain bits are quite a bit smaller.

And it is true, the muscle I've been building weighs more than the gelatinous, pock-marked goo that used to be there.

Nope. It's not fat that is the problem.

The culprit is my butt.

I have developed a skater's butt.

A bubble butt.

I've never had a butt, not really. Alas, the flat butt runs in the family. My mother had such a flat butt, you could iron a week's laundry on it.

I seem to have followed in that unfortunate gene pool.

Flat ass. I could have been a Dick Tracy character.

Not anymore.

I now have a bubble butt that you could serve morning pancakes on. It's firm and toit as a toiga.

But damned, girl.

Is it made of stone?

It's why my big lady pants are a bit too tight. At least that's my story today.

I guess I'll take it.

Better a souffle than a muffin.

Same calories but much nicer consistency.

Cheese is always better than bran.

Update: Today (that's June 28th, 2013), I found these exercises to help us girls with badonkas get a "Brazilian" butt. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/06/27/butt-exercises_n_3511886.html?utm_hp_ref=canada-living. Try it and let me know if it works.

1 comment:

  1. You look great, keep doing what you are doing!

    ReplyDelete