Is anybody else upset about the attempt of imperialist forces to thrust Black Friday down our little Canuck throats?
I opened the paper and there were ads for Black Friday everywhere. The Brick. Sports Check. Sears.
Last time I checked, Canadians were still trying to pass off monopoly money for currency, and we were still celebrating Thanksgiving with turkey and cranberry in the month of October.
Our Thanksgiving tradition involves sitting around the flat screen patting our bellies and giving thanks to Ted Rogers.
It's not about steeling ourselves for the mall mashup to spend money we don't have on iPads and Old Navy Jeans.
It's not even December 1st.
I find it offensive, this American creep.
Black Friday shows the worst part of the American dream.
Traditions like Black Friday and keeping up with the Obamas are what got Americans into trouble in the first place.
It's never bothered me before.
But then, I've never seen Black Friday sales in Canada before, either.
So I have this to say to my American friends.
Have a lovely Thanksgiving. Eat some pie. Kiss a few babies.
But stay out of Canada with your materialistic drivel.
It's hard enough to teach our children the proper values and sentiments. It's hard enough to remind them that Christmas is not about how much you spend, but how much time you spend with people you love.
We don't need your stinking Black Friday.
Max out your own credit cards. Go wild.
Just leave us out of it.