Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Hail to Lulu Liz Lemons Everywhere

About ten years ago, I created a media frenzy after I complained in the Ottawa Citizen that my daughter's school was sending her home for wearing a "belly top".

I thought the principal was being ridiculous.

The top was not at all revealing. Besides, Marissa was still in that square tween stage, boobless and curveless.

There's more skin shown on Toddlers and Tiaras.

The story went viral. Editorials were written. National television embraced the story. Lines were drawn on both sides of the belly button.

I still believe that school dress codes are stupid and are enforced by stupid and ugly-minded control freaks who want to quash a child's creativity and self-expression.

There have been many times I've wanted to tell someone that what they're wearing is inappropriate. The color is wrong for them. The style is way off base.

But I keep my mouth shut.

It's not my business.

And unless there is a hint of pubes, school officials have no business in the closets of the teenagers, either.

Let there be Goths, mods and rockers, slouchy pants that show the underwear. Let it all hang out, I say.

There will be enough time to dress in ill fitting polyesters, wrong sized bras and sensible shoes when they're older.

The whole dress code issue has raised its ugly head again in Ottawa this week with the banning by St. Joseph Catholic School of yoga pants.

Comfy, wonderful yoga pants.

Come on.

It's true there are many girls who are too fat to wear them. But there are also many girls who are too fat to wear short skirts. Or jeans.

I'm more offended by belly fat than I am offended by yoga pants which do a good job of smoothing over cellulite.

I myself wear yoga pants every single day. They are comfortable and warm. And they are black, the go to color for all little Miss Muffins.

I'd slap anybody who told me not to wear them.

What are the powers-that-be afraid of? A little camel toe?

Seriously, school officials need to worry more about the slutty little Catholic girls I see who hike their regulation uniform skirts half way up their ass cracks.

Hey teach. Stop looking and start teaching something.

Hail the Lulu Liz Lemons of the world, young and old.

It's time to emancipate the yoga pants.

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