Well, it seems I do have a face for radio.
I just finished my first ever radio spot, on Definitely Not the Opera on CBC radio.
The producer said I was a pro.
I'm sure she says that to all the girls.
A few weeks back, I was discovered by one of the show's producers, who found me at my old blog The $10 Life. DNTO was doing a show on things people have lost, and they realized that I was professional loser, so they wanted to hear my story. But by the time they found me, their deadline had passed.
The producer asked if I'd be interested in having my name put on their freelance list.
I tried unsuccessfully to contain my excitement by biting onto a nearby pug, but I'm sure she got that I was more than a little interested.
I always wondered how you got to be a CBC commentator. I've seen all manner of folks become instant stars for being masters of none, and I've always felt well qualified for the challenge.
Like the lazy armchair quarterback I am.
I must admit that I'm more of a videophile than a radio geek, but I'm willing to learn.
It's simple. You get up, throw on some clothes and hike down to the CBC building. You don't even have to brush your hair!
They put you in a guest "living room" where you play Angry Birds for a few minutes, then they whisk you into your very own booth and you talk to a nice young woman who has just bicycled to work in Winnipeg.
I want to go there.
You talk into a microphone for a few minutes and get paid for it.
I just finished an article for the Ottawa Citizen which took me two weeks to research and write and they paid me less for that than I'm making not getting dressed up to do a radio hit.
Ah hah hah hah hah.
My plan for world domination is working.
It couldn't have been easier.
Alas, it's time to get back to the real world. Shake the stardust out of my hair, feed the dogs, watch the View and have a nap.
Man, this celebrity life is a grind.
BTW, I will be on DNTO November 5. Mark your calendar. You can say you were there at the start.