Sunday, 3 November 2013

Rob Ford: While you're gone, we'll wash your car

Rob Ford is a nob.
We all know that by now.
And he's in big doo-doo, too.
Nothing new in that statement.
But something is different, so that gives us hope.
He's stopped washing his Escalade.
Now to the average person, that might seem like a detail. But to a person who gets paid -- or not -- to observe life, the dirty Escalade is significant. Rob Ford is a guy who dry cleans. He is also a guy who keeps the outside of his car in meticulous condition. I can't say for the inside. I'm sure the inside is chock full of cigarette packages and fast food wrappers. It likely has the sweet smell of smoke which is nearly impossible to get out. But the outside, the outside is what the world sees, like the impenetrable veneer and armor of a sea turtle. And today, that veneer has a crack in it.
The villain Rob Ford as met his Butch Cassidy moment. There is nowhere left to run. Bandito Canadiense has just met the firing squad.
Another significant development. When Rob Ford was being thrown to the courts the other day, he didn't loaf around the old casa. He went to his mother's house.
The family was gathered and, no doubt, Mrs. Ford gave him a stern talk and a switching. Unless she's a crack mom, in which case she handed him a pipe. I doubt this.
The Nob Rob Ford is in big kaka today and is likely going to announce a leave of absence to deal with his demons. Maybe he'll take a short flight to Antigua and commune with Eric Clapton.
It's the only way to save his mayorship, something he may want more than crack cocaine.
Go away and deal with your problems, Rob. It worked for Marion Barry, the silver nosed mayor of Washington. Hate my shit, but don't hate me. Let me drop the baggage and come back leaner and even meaner, his trusted circle is no doubt telling him.
While you're gone, we'll wash your car.

Update: Well, I guess Rob Ford will have to get around to washing his own car. Fool!
Update, Update: Rob Ford admitted it! Now the car will get washed for sure.

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